


Focus

by Lucifabulous



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-07-08
Updated: 2014-08-05
Packaged: 2018-02-07 23:15:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 26,503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1917687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucifabulous/pseuds/Lucifabulous
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean runs a camera shop, and has a crush on an insurance agent he sees walking to work every morning. One day, he gets up the nerve to ask for some candid photos...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Castiel was tired. It was 7:30, and it was cold. He had a fifteen minute walk to work from the parking garage, and it was horribly unpleasant in the winter. Castiel stopped at an intersection to wait for the signal to change, stuffing his hands in his pockets and wishing he could crawl back into bed. He was shaken out of his sleepy stupor by his phone, which was blaring the default ringtone at the highest volume. He scrambled to answer it, getting irritated looks from the group of commuters waiting at the same intersection.

“Hello?”

“ _It’s me. The internet is still down and I’ve got research. Can I call the one of those nerds-for-hire yet_?” Anna was chatty and far too alive for Castiel, who was fighting sleep while still standing. He sighed.

“No. I intend to ask one of the IT staff at work today.” Castiel warily eyed the man across the street who was aiming a camera in his direction, half-listening to his sister complain about having to spend another day using the computers at the library. The signal changed, and Castiel stepped onto the crosswalk. “Anna, I have to go. I will see you at 7.” Castiel hung up, stuffing his phone into his pocket and trying to ignore the photographer, who he was fairly sure was taking pictures of him. He crossed the street, pacing himself while the commuters crossing beside him raced ahead, high heels rhythmically clicking on the pavement, trenchcoats flapping in the breeze. It made him feel a little empty inside, these people seemed mindless, like an army of slaves bound to an eternity of routine, and he was one of them.

Castiel stepped over the curb and stopped at the intersection, waiting for the light to change. The rest of the commuters had different destinations, leaving Castiel alone with the strange man pointing a camera at him. Castiel was uncomfortable and slightly terrified. Footsteps approached him, and he silently prayed for the light to change. The man cleared his throat.

“‘Scuse me,” the man said, his voice deep and intimidating. Castiel turned to face the man. The photographer had a handsome face, bright green eyes and a strong jawline complemented by perfectly sculpted lips and nose. He was dressed in a pair of jeans and a dark green t-shirt, bundled in a worn-down and faded leather jacket, with his expensive camera hanging around his neck. He looked friendly, not at all the type Castiel would have expected to stand on the sidewalk and take pictures of passing pedestrians. “I’m Dean Winchester,” the man said, extending a hand. Castiel shook it. It was warm and strong.

“Castiel Novak,” Castiel replied.

“Bless you,” Dean joked. Castiel tilted his head, not understanding. Dean blushed. “Uh, Interesting name. Nice to meet you, Castiel.” Castiel nodded. Dean ran a hand over the back of his neck. “I’m an amateur photographer. I run the camera shop down at the corner and uh, I was wondering if you’d be cool with me taking a few candid shots. All you really have to do is pretend I’m invisible, I’ll take a few pictures of you walking to work, make sure you’re okay with them, and put them on my site.”

“I don’t have any objections to that.” Castiel lied. He wasn’t very photogenic, in most pictures, he looked angry or unhappy, so he didn’t understand why this photographer was so interested in him. He was starting to feel his palms getting sweaty. Castiel hated pictures, but he was afraid to say no.

Dean smiled and rubbed his hands together, his smile so bright and natural that it warmed something in Castiel’s chest.  “Awesome. Just act natural.” Dean fiddled with his camera. The signal changed, and Castiel started walking forward, Dean following behind him. Castiel tried to ignore it, concentrating on every footstep and facial expression he made, trying his hardest to think about anything but the extremely handsome paparazzi on his tail. He realized this probably made him looked either excessively intense or constipated, but he couldn't do anything about it. It was a ten minute walk to the agency, at the end of which Castiel stopped in front of the glass doors and looked to Dean, who snapped a few pictures of Castiel’s stare and then lowered the camera.

“Is this it?” Dean asked, holding his camera loosely against his chest. Castiel nodded. “Okay, uh, we can go through the pictures now if you’d like.”

“That won’t be necessary.” Castiel replied. Dean frowned.

“Okay, but I still need your approval before I can post any pictures, otherwise you have the liability to sue me. Do you have an email?”

Castiel gave him his email, Dean inputting it directly into his phone. Dean thanked him and fished around in the pocket of his leather jacket, pulling out his wallet. Castiel was confused until Dean offered him a business card, stuffing his wallet back into his pocket. “My website, phone number, and email are all on here. If you have any questions, go ahead and email me or call me or drop by my shop, whatever’s easiest for ya. I’ll scoot off and get out of your hair, but thank you, again.”

“It was a pleasure,” Castiel replied, nodding. Dean smiled and turned, walking back the way he came. Castiel shook away an unpleasant feeling of confusion and walked through the glass doors of his insurance agency, strolling headfirst into another day filled with mindless routine, another day Castiel spent daydreaming about a life he didn’t have the motivation to pursue.

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

Dean walked through the door of his shop, holding his camera in his hands and smiling proudly.

“You look awfully happy. Get anything good?” Charlie was helping a customer, an elderly lady who needed help with a disposable camera.

“Yeah.” Dean slipped behind the counter and set his camera down, waiting patiently for Charlie to demonstrate the mechanics of the camera in full detail to the woman, who seemed to get the picture after five minutes. As soon as the door swung shut behind her, Dean started talking. “I talked to him today. He let me take some pictures. Dude, he's great. Look at this.” Dean shoved the camera in Charlie’s face.

“Whoa, slow down. This is the guy you’ve been creeping on for the past week, huh? Ooh, someone’s got a _cruuush_.” Charlie teased, snatching the camera and turning her back on Dean to look through the pictures. “These aren’t bad. Dean, you need to get these on your site.”

Dean tried to wipe the grin off his face, to no avail. “Yeah.”  He was blushing.

“You’re so gone,” Charlie laughed. “So, you get his number?”

Dean shook his head. “Got his email, but, uh... No.” The smile disappeared.

Charlie raised her eyebrows and dropped the subject. Dean went silent and disappeared into the darkroom, working on developing the overflow of pictures a customer had brought in. Dean had seen a lot of weird shit developing pictures, but these pictures were straight up terrifying. The pictures depicted men in facemasks lurking in a forest, carrying strange looking weapons and staring directly at the camera. Dean had initially approached the client about it, but the response he got was vague and ominous, so Dean left it alone. Charlie refused to touch the photos, as in the dim light of the darkroom they seemed even creepier. There were nearly fifty photos, and Dean had to have all developed by Tuesday, an instruction he wouldn’t dare ignore considering how suspiciously the client acted. Dean didn’t emerge from the darkroom until noon, when Charlie dragged him out for lunch. They went to the sandwich shop three blocks away and sat down with their sandwiches when someone sat down at their table.

“Oh, Dean, this is my girlfriend, Dorothy,” Charlie said, gesturing to the Amazonian warrior sitting next to her. The woman was huge, nearly a foot taller than Charlie and looking like she could rip a guy’s heart out with her bare hands. But she was fit, and more or less attractive.

“You brought me here to third wheel on a date?” Dean said through a mouthful of sandwich. “Thought you were taking pity on me or something.” He shook his head, laughing. Dorothy looked to Charlie for reassurance.

“You were moping in the darkroom and well, I had plans but I knew you weren’t gonna come out anytime soon.” Charlie sighed.

“Nah, Charlie, it’s fine. I’m in a weird mood right now.” Dean swallowed his last bite of sandwich and crumpled the paper into a ball, standing up. “Thanks for lunch. I’m gonna head back. Break’s over at 1:30, I’m being nice.” Dean’s voice sounded wrong. Charlie was concerned, Dean looked like he was on the verge of tears, but she couldn’t do anything but leave him alone. Dean left the table, tossing the ball of crumpled paper into a trash can as he walked out of the shop. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and stared at the sidewalk as he walked back. _God_ , he was stupid. Out of all the things he should’ve done, asking for the guy’s number should’ve been on the top of the list. Everything he did made that look like an ordinary business exchange, and it was very likely Dean would never see the guy again. He kicked at a paper cup lying on the ground. Dean’s mind was full of this guy’s blue eyes, strong brow, and chiseled jawline, those pink lips and his unruly comb of hair. His name, Castiel, was strange but it somehow fit. Every fold of skin, every wrinkle in his brow, Dean wanted to know Castiel so badly it left an empty pit in his stomach. But now he couldn't, he had fucked it all up. He pushed through the door of his shop and headed straight for the darkroom, kicking his chair over and throwing a stack of pictures at the wall. For weeks, he had planned this out. Dean would flirt, the man would smile and pose pretty, Dean would get his number and the rest would be simple. But Dean’s shyness made him forget everything. Dean sat down on the floor, taking deep breaths.

It didn’t matter.

Dean couldn't change the past.

He sighed and stood up, picking up the scattered pictures and burying himself in his work.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

Castiel left work Friday evening in a good mood. He had finally chased down the IT guy, who was alarmingly polite and agreed to look at the broken router at no charge. Castiel called Anna as he walked out of the office and told her the IT guy would be arriving at the house around 7 that evening.

“ _Are you not gonna be home_?”

“No.”

“ _You’re not gonna tell me what you’re doing?_ ”

“No.” Castiel hoped Anna wouldn’t ask any more questions, he didn’t want to think too much about where he was going in case that made him reconsider.

“ _Well, that’s new. I’ll see you around, little brother. Stay safe_.” Anna hung up.

Castiel stowed his phone and pulled the business card out of his pocket. It was a straight shot to his destination, the shop was on the same road as the insurance agency. He took one step forward and stopped, realizing he had left his camera in his car. Castiel sighed, and headed towards the parking garage at a brisk pace, evening traffic and icy wind making the trek feel longer than it really was. He headed up the elevator of the parking garage, checking his watch impatiently. He still had a good thirty minutes before the camera shop closed at 6.

As he unlocked his car, he caught his reflection in the mirror and hesitated, remembering the spare set of clothes he kept in his backseat for occasions like this one, not that he had ever had an emergency that called for a change of clothes, but Castiel liked to be prepared. He slid into the backseat and exchanged his suit for a sweater and jeans. He left his discarded clothing in a pile on the floor of the car and switched to the driver’s seat, deciding to make the effort to drive to the camera shop rather than brave the cold again. The drive took seventeen minutes. Castiel discovered a nearly empty parking lot right next to the shop. He stepped out of the car with the broken camera in his hands and took a deep breath. He rounded the corner and headed through the door, ignoring the overwhelming temptation to run screaming in the other direction. The camera shop was dim, there were rows of shelves and counters housing expensive looking parts and pieces, and an empty space in the corner of the shop with some seating and an old camera on display. The shop was extremely small and felt cramped, but it also felt warm and homely. A room at the back of the shop, labeled as the ‘DARKROOM,’ caught Castiel’s attention. A heavy curtain was draped over the doorway. Castiel looked around some more, the store was deserted, there was nobody behind the counter by the door or hiding behind a shelf.

He called out a hesitant, “Hello?”

There was silence for a few moments, broken by the flutter of cloth as the curtain covering the darkroom was thrown open. Dean emerged, and Castiel’s heart started pumping. “How can I help you?” Dean asked, approaching Castiel. He suddenly stopped, eyes widening as he recognized the man standing behind the counter. “Oh. Hey.”

“Hello, Dean,” Castiel’s voice was low.

“Hey, uh, Cas.” Castiel smiled at the nickname. Dean seemed distracted by Castiel’s appearance. “You, uh, lost the trenchcoat, huh. You off work today?”

Cas panicked. “No, I just changed.”

“Huh.” Dean was studying Castiel, and it made his heart beat harder in his chest. Dean sucked in a breath and brought his gaze back to Cas’ face. “So, what brings you here?”

Castiel handed Dean the broken camera. “I dropped this a few years ago and figured you might be able to figure out what’s wrong with it. I haven’t been able to see the pictures yet either, internet’s down.” Cas was sweating.

Dean took the camera over to a counter and pulled a few screwdrivers out of a drawer. In a matter of minutes, the camera was mostly in pieces, neatly arranged into little piles on the glass counter. Dean hummed and looked up at Cas. “You broke the battery case. Nothing inside is damaged apart from that. You’re an extremely lucky guy, this is a nice camera. Is it yours?”

“It’s my father’s camera. He used to be fascinated by photography and he bought an excess of expensive cameras before losing interest and giving them all to his children. It took me two months to break this.” Cas laughed nervously.

“Well, you’re in good hands, because I’m pretty sure I can fix this.” Dean searched through a box of parts for a few minutes before he found a black piece of plastic identical to the broken piece from Cas’ camera and placed it on the table. He reassembled the camera with the new piece and inserted new batteries, turning it on. Cas was amazed. Dean focused the camera on Cas and snapped a picture, grinning as he handed the camera back to Cas. “Good as new.” Cas thanked him.

“How much do I need to pay you?” Castiel asked, pulling his wallet out of his pocket.

Dean refused the offer. “Nah, you’re good. It’s the least I can do, considering how well the candid photos turned out. Speaking of those pictures, I don’t have internet or my computer here, so I can’t show you anything, but I close shop in five minutes. If you don’t mind waiting, I can take you to my place and show you everything. And that way I can get them uploaded to the site tonight if you’re cool with everything.”

“That sounds fine,” Cas said. Dean disappeared back into the darkroom, and Cas wandered the store until Dean returned. Dean grabbed his jacket from the coat rack by the door and slipped it on, pulling out his keys. He opened the door and waited for Cas to walk through before shutting off the lights and locking the door behind him.

“I parked my car around the corner,” Cas said.

“My car’s in the shop, so I walked to work this morning.”

“We can take my car, it’s too cold.” Cas shivered.

Dean nodded.

Cas’ car was a red 2004 Camaro, Dean whistled, he hadn’t expected Cas to drive something other than a Lexus. He paused, noticing one of Cas’ bumper stickers, a nearly unidentifiable, faded pride flag. “You just a supporter, or...?”

“I, uh, I identify as homosexual.” Cas’ voice was small.

“Huh... I get it. I’m bi.” Dean shrugged. Castiel stared at Dean for a moment before unlocking the car and sliding in. He turned the key in the ignition and the car made a pitiful wailing noise, dying twice before sputtering to life.

They were both silent for a little while as the car warmed up. Dean found himself staring at Cas, wanting to do nothing but brush his thumb over those pink lips and run a hand through his hair. Goddamn, he was attractive. Cas broke the silence. “Where do you live?” Dean flushed, feeling like an idiot for staring. He gave Cas directions to his apartment, impressed by how carefully Castiel drove. As soon as they parked, Dean hopped out of the car and ran up the stairs, fighting the stubborn door lock for a minute before it finally gave. Castiel searched the back seat for his phone, which had fallen underneath the seat while he was changing. He jogged up the stairs just as Dean pushed the apartment door open.

He followed Dean inside, realizing how stupid he was the moment he passed the threshold. This man could be a psychopath, and Cas just willingly followed him into his house. Maybe Castiel was lonely, maybe he didn’t have enough to live for to fear danger, but Dean was leading him into his room and showing him the pictures he took of Cas on his computer. He was smiling and laughing and sitting so close to Cas that their shoulders were touching, and Cas didn't argue. He was so handsome, a mess of freckles and eyelashes and perfect lips and the smell of leather. The pictures turned out well. Cas understood why Dean had picked him out of the crowd; the dramatic flutter and soft color of his trenchcoat, the deep navy color of his tie, the icy blue color of his eyes, and the slight flush of his cheeks brought life to the grey pavement and colorless cityscape. Cas felt his heart thump in his chest whenever Dean said his name and he slowly caught himself falling in love with a man he had known for an hour. Cas didn’t love, he didn’t let down his walls like this, he didn’t feel anything most of the time, but something about Dean melted the ice around his heart and Cas felt warm for the first time in his life. They chatted for two hours, Dean working on formatting the page with the 20 best pictures he and Cas had decided on. Dean’s music was the same classic rock Castiel’s father used to blast when he was writing. It made Cas feel at home, safe. For the first time in years, Castiel felt _warm_ inside. Someone cared, someone smiled at his terrible attempts at being humorous, listened to his stories, and looked at him like he was real. This was new to Cas, and he didn’t want to let go of it. He felt _alive._


	4. Chapter 4

Dean changed the order of the pictures for the fifth time. He was stalling, and he was pretty sure Cas knew it. He took a deep breath and sat back, spinning his chair to face Castiel. “Hey, Cas, uh, I was wondering if you wanted to stay for dinner, since it’s almost 8 and I’m about done with this.”

Castiel tilted his head slightly, something Dean found endearing and moderately arousing at the same time. “I don’t have a reason not to. I don’t work on weekends so I don’t have to be home at any specific time.”

“Sweet.” Dean smiled to himself and turned back to the computer, taking a final look at the page before moving his chair out of the way and gesturing towards the screen. “You cool with the page and everything?”

Castiel didn’t need to glance at the screen, he knew exactly what was on it. “It looks great, Dean.” Hearing Cas say his name made something in Dean’s chest sing. Cas had that stupid smile plastered on his face, a ridiculously happy ear-to-ear grin that made Dean’s insides melt. Dean and Cas stared at each other for a while, maybe it was because they were both tired, Dean didn’t know, but it didn’t feel as awkward as it should have. Maybe that was a good thing.

Dean was so nervous, he was almost positive Cas could hear his heartbeat. He had never struggled with shyness like this before, typically he could charm his way into anyone’s pants in a matter of hours, but Cas was different. Dean was utterly dumbfounded by Castiel. The man didn’t act like any person Dean had met before, he was truly unreadable in some areas but blindingly obvious in others. Cas’ facial expressions seemed out of his control, any emotion he felt revealing itself in his eyes or on his lips, but Cas completely lacked body language, leaving Dean no way to gauge his intentions. Dean wasn’t really sure he knew what his own intentions were. He was attracted to Cas, but it was more than just a crush. He didn’t want to fuck Cas against the wall as much as he wanted to count every one of his eyelashes and fall asleep next to him every night. It made Dean feel strange. He wasn’t one for relationships, and with Cas, the sparse knowledge he had about romance was practically useless. He was at a complete loss with Cas, but he was going to try to do something.

Dean found himself staring at Cas’ mouth, he wasn’t sure how long he had been staring, but if Cas was paying any attention he would have noticed. Dean glanced up. Cas was studying his lips with the same intensity, lips parted slightly, breathing softly, and oh god, Dean wanted to kiss him. Dean found himself speaking before the question had time to simmer in his mind.

“Can I kiss you?”

Cas’ eyes widened. He hesitated for a fraction of a second before blurting, “Yes.” He looked just as surprised by his answer as Dean was with his question. Cas paled and swallowed.

“You’ve never been kissed before, have you?” Dean asked.

Cas shook his head. “I... I think I’d like you to kiss me.”

“Dude, you look like you’re gonna puke.” Dean reached for Castiel’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly, surprised when Cas intertwined their fingers. “You sure about this?”

Cas looked up at Dean, blue eyes brimming with trust, and Dean felt a swarm of butterflies migrate up from his stomach to settle in his throat. He swallowed the fluttering insects down and cleared his throat, breaking eye contact long enough to remember where he was.

“Uh, if we’re gonna... can we stand up or something, ‘cause desk chairs are not the most suitable place to, uh, make out?” Dean said, his words jumbling together because his heart was racing and his mind had gone numb the moment Cas touched his skin.

Cas nodded and stood up. He yawned and stretched, his sweater pulling up a few inches, revealing a span of perfect, tan skin, pierced by a pair of razor-sharp hipbones that curved into his jeans. Dean stared until Cas dropped his arms and the sweater fell to cover the exposed skin. Dean glanced upwards and met Cas’ gaze, oh god, he was caught. Dean felt color stain in his cheeks, he cleared his throat again and stood up, turning towards the computer. Dean turned off the music and messed with the lamp on the desk, realizing he was stalling yet again. He turned back around, finding Cas nervously fiddling with the sleeves of his sweater. Dean pushed the chairs out of the way and stepped up to Cas, placing a hand on Cas’ neck. Cas responded to the touch by inhaling sharply and tensing up, grabbing Dean’s wrist and meeting his gaze.

“You okay?” Dean ran his thumb over Cas’ cheek. Cas swallowed and nodded, taking another deep breath and licking his lips. Dean moved in slowly, shutting his eyes and meeting Cas’ lips with his. Cas went rigid and jerked back, breathing erratic, eyes wild with panic.

“I don’t know how to do this.” Cas looked terrified.

“Hey, we don’t have to do this if you’re not up for it.” Dean’s voice was soft with concern.

“No, Dean, I really want to do this, I’m just... nervous.” Castiel dropped his gaze, staring at Dean’s chest. He felt like crying, his heart was racing and every fiber in his body screamed for intimacy, but his mind warred against him, worrying about disappointing Dean or making a fool of himself. Cas could feel tears welling up in his eyes. Dean pulled him into his arms, squeezing him so tightly that Cas could only sense Dean, all strength and warmth and the smell of leather and cheap cologne. It was overpowering, but Castiel never wanted him to let go. The burning pit of worry in his stomach had been quenched by sensation. Cas relaxed, inhaling the rustic scent of Dean and letting himself forget everything else. He buried his face in Dean’s neck, feeling his rough stubble scratch at his cheek. Dean sighed and turned his face towards Cas’ neck, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, hot breath sending goosebumps across his skin. Cas was positive that Dean was sniffing him, but he didn’t care, because he felt safe and warm and he knew nothing could harm him here.

“God, you smell good.” Dean’s voice was muffled, Cas could feel his words vibrate on the back of his neck and they lit his skin on fire. Dean took another breath, smelling mint and cinnamon and something he couldn’t describe, something smooth and dark. Dean sighed again, his breath hot and wet against the back of Cas’ neck. Cas’ mind went blank for a moment. Maybe he moaned, maybe he moved, he wasn’t sure what he did but it made Dean whimper, soft and low next to Cas’ ear. “Jesus, I think could get off on this alone.” He was quiet for a moment. “I don’t know if I can let go of you.”

Cas snorted. “Please don’t,” he said, voice low. Dean’s laugh rumbled against Cas’ neck, and Cas buried his fingers in the back of Dean’s shirt. They stayed like this for a while, Dean getting drunk on Cas’ scent, and Cas wondering if this was what heaven felt like. His curiosity and arousal eventually won out over his hesitation and he broke the silence. “Is kissing any better than this?”

“Wanna find out?” Dean whispered in Cas’ ear. Dean pulled away but kept his arms wrapped around Cas, leaving an inch of space between their faces.

“What do I do?” Cas could feel panic rising in his chest again, but this time Dean was there, dissolving his worry with a smile that made Cas forget everything else.

“Just relax. I’ll take the lead so you don’t have to worry about anything. Don’t think, just do whatever feels right, and if something feels wrong, tell me. You shouldn’t have a problem, considering you managed to turn a hug into whatever the hell that was.”

“Was it good?” Cas frowned, looking worried.

“Cas,” Dean threw his head back, laughing. “God, yes, man, it was good.” Cas smiled his lopsided grin, making Dean’s legs go weak. Dean couldn’t hold back. He leaned in slowly, tilting his head, eyes fluttering closed as he brushed his lips against Cas’. He felt Cas gasp, and Dean hesitated, but Cas made a soft noise and gently placed a hand on Dean’s neck, signaling Dean to continue.

Dean pecked at Cas’ lips, which were rough and tasted like cinnamon. It took a minute for Cas to warm up. His lips played hesitantly against Dean’s, as if he was afraid he would hurt Dean. Dean buried a hand in Cas’ hair and something clicked inside him. He let go of all restraint, kissing Dean so passionately that the photographer was caught off guard, stumbling backwards against the wall. Cas was sloppy, his kisses a bit too desperate and unpredictable, most missing Dean’s mouth, and Cas hadn’t figured out the right angle to tilt his head so their noses kept bumping, but Dean never wanted him to stop. He was surprised by the feel of Cas’ skin against his cheek, rough and stubbly, an icy sting that set his skin on fire. Cas’ breaths came in ragged bursts, sharp gasps and heavy pants playing across the photographer’s lips between each kiss. Dean caught Cas’ bottom lip between his teeth, tugging gently. Cas moaned, grabbing Dean’s shirt and pulling him closer. Dean slid his tongue into Cas’ mouth. Cas sucked in a sharp breath, finding himself in unfamiliar territory, but Dean’s hands cradled his cheeks and Cas couldn’t help himself. He leaned into the photographer, dragging his tongue against Dean’s. Dean groaned. He had never been kissed like this. The way Cas dug his fingers into his hair and pressed his body flush against his own, he never wanted it to end.

Cas suddenly grunted and broke away. Dean pulled back, giving Cas some room.

“Can I take off my sweater? I’m really hot.” Cas panted.

Dean relaxed. “Yeah you are,” he muttered, forcing himself to let go of Cas and step back. “Can I, uh...?” Dean grabbed the bottom of Cas’ sweater hesitantly, an unspoken question in his eyes. Cas nodded and Dean worked the red sweater over his head, Cas watching Dean with an intensity that made Dean forget how to breathe. Dean tossed the sweater onto a chair and turned back to Cas. Cas stepped closer to the photographer, burying a hand in his hair and pulling him close. Cas’ eyelids were hooded, his cheeks were flushed, and his lips were red. He was beautiful. Dean was beyond aroused at this point but he didn’t want to go any farther than he already had with Cas, not yet. He kissed Cas again, restraining himself this time, savoring the taste of Cas’ mouth and the soft noises he made.

Cas’ stomach growled, and Dean pulled back. “You hungry?”

“No. Keep going, I’m enjoying this.”

Dean paused, frowning. “Cas, things are moving pretty quickly and I don’t want to push you past your comfort zone.”

“I just want to kiss you.”

“This is a little more than just kissing, Cas. And I’m, uh, not the best at keeping things chaste. I think it would be in your best interest to take a break and cool off cause I don’t want to go this far so soon. I, uh, kinda want to keep you around.”

Cas’ gaze softened, he nodded and wrapped his arms around Dean’s waist, sighing into Dean’s shoulder. “That was... extremely pleasurable...” Cas said. “I wouldn’t mind doing that again later.”

Dean laughed and kissed Cas’ forehead. Cas dropped his arms and looked up into Dean’s eyes, blue eyes shimmering with... _trust_? Dean shook the unsettling feeling of guilt away, Cas didn’t trust him, he just admired Dean. That was probably it. Dean reached for Cas’ hand, threading his fingers through Cas’.  He led him out of his room and into the kitchen, which was modestly decorated with a few framed pictures. Dean disappeared into the pantry for a few moments and came out frowning at the carton of macaroni and cheese in his hands. “I need to go grocery shopping.” Dean said, sighing. “Is mac and cheese okay with you?”

“Yes, that’s fine.” Cas smiled and looked around Dean’s kitchen, studying the pictures on the wall and coming to settle on a picture of Dean laughing at a man with shoulder-length brown hair, which was pulled into ridiculous looking pigtails on the top of his head. “Who is this?” Cas asked, gesturing to the picture.

“Oh, that’s my little brother, Sam.” Dean watched Cas’ face, detecting a tinge of jealousy that melted into a thoughtful gaze. “He came home for Christmas break and got drunk on spiked eggnog, and his girlfriend snapped this picture of us. I keep it around to embarrass him.” Dean fished through the cabinet under the stove for a pot, managing to knock a few frying pans out in his attempt to pry it out of the cabinet. Cas crouched down, helping Dean pick up the mess.

“Home?”

“From college. Harvard, actually. Got a full ride scholarship ‘cause he’s smart, studied law.” Dean filled the pot with water and set it on the stove, turning the burner on and leaning back on the counter. “Got his degree last year, a hot girlfriend, and a fancy job. He scored...”

“What about you?”

“What do you mean? Did I go to college?” Cas nodded. “No, I, uh, I dropped out of high school and ran off to work for my uncle. I spent 6 years working at an auto repair shop before I had enough money to buy my first camera, and then I realized that photography was a pretty shitty way to make a living. Shoulda studied culinary arts or something, but I was really into photography back then. Still am.” Dean sighed. “But that’s enough about me, I’m not all that interesting. So... You work insurance?”

Cas stuck his hands in his pockets and nodded. “Believe me, your story is much more interesting than mine. I essentially get paid to compensate people for their dead relatives.”

“Aw, c’mon, you gotta give me more than that. You went to college?”

“Yes, I went to a community college, where I cared more about narcotics than I did about my grades. Somehow I managed to graduate, and I decided working as an insurance agent was the easiest way to coast through life.”

“Wait, you smoked?” Dean guffawed.

“I did it all. One of my closer friends was a dealer, I brought in new clients, she paid me in drugs. I had to stop in order to find work, one of the first places I applied requested a drug test and at the time I didn’t know anyone who’d willingly piss in a cup for me.”

“So... you miss the high life?”

Cas snorted at Dean’s pun, and nodded. “Have you ever...?”

“Yeah, but I don’t really miss it too much. My uncle, well, he’s not really my uncle, but the guy I worked for at the auto shop, Bobby Singer. Yeah, he cut me off. It took withdrawal for me to start thinking about my future. That’s actually why I started saving for a camera.” The pot began overflowing. “Shit.” Water spilled over the sides of the pot, hissing as it met the glowing coil. Dean tore at the box of macaroni and dumped the contents into the boiling water, realizing his mistake a second too late as something white fell into the water along with the raw noodles. “Goddammit.” Dean carefully fished the packet of cheese flavoring out of the boiling water, tossing it on the counter. “I’m not the greatest chef,” Dean sighed. Cas smiled.

“You’re better than me. I eat all my meals from the microwave,” Cas said. Dean smiled, fishing a wooden spoon from the drawer. “Would you say you’re happy with your job?”

“I guess. I never wanted to do much else. The camera shop doesn’t pay very well, but it’s enough. And hey, I got to meet you, that’s a change.” Dean said, stirring the pasta.

“What do you mean by ‘a change’?” Cas tilted his head, intrigued.

“Well, first off, I haven’t had a serious relationship in... ever... and if this qualifies as a date, I’m onto something. And, uh, I... Aw, man, this is gonna sound creepy... I kinda had... have a huge crush on you. I had seen you walking to work before, and I always meant to talk to you but I was too shy to do so. I would, uh, use my camera to watch you. Back on Thursday, you noticed me looking through the camera and I managed to gather the nerve to approach you.” Dean blushed.

“I thought you were terribly creepy until you approached me.” Cas said.

“Yeah, I kinda figured that. But then I screwed it all up ‘cause I got nervous and left too soon and I thought I had ruined my chances. And then you walked into my shop this afternoon and I about cried.” Dean turned the burner off and searched for a strainer, placing it in the sink and carefully lifting the pot off the stove and poured it into the strainer. He dumped the macaroni into the pot, unwrapped the butter and tossed it in, and pulled a measuring cup out of a drawer. He measured out a quarter cup of milk and emptied the cup into the pot, mixing the pasta around with his wooden spoon until the butter had melted completely. He grabbed the soggy packet of cheese flavoring and ripped it open, shaking the powder into the pot and then stirring briskly.

“Dean, I kept making up excuses to come see you. I dug around in my closet for that broken camera and cleaned six years of dust off of it, I delayed getting my internet fixed so I could meet you in person. You were the break I needed from routine. I was going insane at the time, so when an extremely attractive guy approached me and asked if he could take pictures of me, I started praying for the courage to hold on. I had no idea you liked me, I thought you saw me as a product of routine and thought it would make a pretty picture.”

Dean stopped stirring and turned to face Cas, beaming. “At what point did you realize I liked you?”

“When you asked me to stay for dinner.”

“Wait, so you thought I just normally invited strangers to my house to review the pictures I took of them?” Dean grinned, dishing out two bowls of macaroni.

“I... I assumed it was some kind of legal thing.” Cas frowned.

“Cas,” Dean was laughing, overwhelmed by how indescribably real Cas was. He tried to retain his composure, but he quickly dissolved into helpless laughter, gripping the counter for support as he threw his head back and laughed until his stomach hurt. Dean wiped tears from the corner of his eyes and sighed, opening a drawer and grabbing two spoons. He nudged a bowl of macaroni towards Cas. Dean led Cas into the living room, flopping down on the couch, propping his feet on the table, and picking up the remote. Cas sat down next to Dean, eating his macaroni in silence as Dean flipped through channels until he settled on an old-looking tv show.

Cas finished chewing a mouthful of macaroni and swallowed before asking, “What is this?”

Dean reacted so violently that he choked on his macaroni. He started coughing, giving Cas an icy glare before realizing that Cas truly didn’t know what he was watching. Dean tried to speak but was unsuccessful, his voice sounding watery and squeaky. He stood up, still coughing and clearing his throat. “This is Star Trek. Jesus, I thought you would’ve seen this before.” His voice was still pitchy and wet, as if he had been crying. His face was red from coughing. “I’ll be right back,” he said, leaving the room. Cas checked his phone, which had vibrated while Dean was cooking the macaroni. Anna had texted him, thanking him for sending a cute IT guy and informing him that she would be having the night of her life. Cas sighed, disgusted, and slid his phone back into his pocket. Dean returned with two beers, offering one to Cas, who hesitated to take it.

“You don’t drink?” Dean asked.

“I have to drive home tonight.”

“Uh, you don’t have to. It’s almost ten, you said you don’t work weekends, you can just crash here tonight if you want...” Dean slipped an arm around Cas, taking a swig of beer.

“Are you sure?”

“Do I even need to answer that?” Dean grinned and turned the volume up on the tv, explaining the basic plot and teaching Cas the names of the characters. “Personally, I think you and Spock have a lot in common.”

Cas quickly came to understand why Dean thought this, and although he felt he should feel offended, he found the comparison quite accurate. He finished his macaroni in a few minutes, and Dean took his bowl and left the room, returning with a second serving of macaroni. Cas silently accepted the bowl, leaning against Dean after the photographer sat back down.

Cas didn’t understand the show very well, but he found it intriguing. He finished his second bowl of macaroni and set the bowl and half-empty beer bottle on the coffee table, curling up against Dean, who absentmindedly played with his hair. Cas found the sensation relaxing, and combined with Dean’s body heat and steady breathing, he struggled to stay awake, losing the battle midway through the next episode.

Cas was awoken by unfamiliar voices, loud noises, and Dean’s laugh. He stirred, trying unsuccessfully to rub the sleep out of his eyes. He resigned to squinting at his surroundings, which proved utterly useless as the room was so bright it hurt to look around. “Hey, you’re awake.” Dean’s voice was soft. He stroked Cas’ cheek.

“What time is it?” Cas’ voice was rough with sleep.

“It’s about eleven. Sammy’s home.”

“Hi, Cas.” An unfamiliar voice said his name. Cas sat up, squinting, and noticed an enormous figure looming in the doorway. The man in the picture, he thought, minus the moustache. Dean’s brother. “I’m Sam, this is my girlfriend, Jess.” Sam wrapped his arm around the woman standing next to him, who waved and smiled.

Cas cleared his throat. “Hello, Sam and Jess.”

“Dean, uh, showed me the pictures he took of you. They turned out really well.” Sam was gigantic, but that didn’t make up for his social awkwardness. Cas nodded. Sam yawned. “Okay, I’m going to bed. Dean, you’ve got work in 8 hours, I’d advise you get some sleep. Uh, is Cas staying?”

“Yeah, I’ll sleep on the couch.” Dean ran his hands through Cas’ hair.

“Dean, that’s not necessary,” Cas argued.

“Dude, shut up,” Dean said affectionately, silencing Cas with a brief kiss.

Sam cleared his throat. “I’ll leave you to figure that out, it was nice meeting you Cas. Goodnight.” Sam and Jess disappeared.

“You showed Sam the pictures of me?” Cas asked, grinning sleepily.

“Yeah, uh..... yeah, I did.” Dean blushed.

Cas smiled and yawned, falling back against Dean, who stood up and pulled Cas with him. Cas followed Dean up the stairs and into his bedroom. Cas sat down on his bed, and Dean disappeared in the bathroom, emerging in a few minutes. “There’s a spare toothbrush under the sink if you wanna brush your teeth. I’m gonna shut the computer down and then I’ll be downstairs.”

“Dean, wait. Can you stay with me?”

“Uh...” Dean hadn’t thought of this. “Yeah, I guess.” Cas stood up, pressing a kiss to Dean’s cheek and heading into the bathroom. He decided he might as well brush his teeth, so he located the spare toothbrush and tore into the package. Dean’s toothpaste was spicy and strong. Cas rinsed the toothbrush and set it to the side of the sink and left the bathroom. He found Dean shutting off the lamp on the computer desk. Cas pulled out his phone to check it one last time, finding he had missed 4 texts from Anna, all of which read ‘are u coming home’ followed by increasingly excessive amounts of question marks. He sent her a reply. ‘No, sleeping with a hot guy.’

“Who’re you texting?”

“My sister. She was wondering when I was coming home.” Cas stowed his phone in his pocket.

“Uh, you gonna sleep in your jeans?” Cas looked down and realized Dean had stripped down to his boxers. Cas pulled his jeans off and tossed them to the side. He slipped into Dean’s bed and sighed.

“Memory foam?”

“Yeah,” Dean said, sliding in beside Cas. “It remembers me.” Dean wrapped his arms around Cas. “I’ve got work tomorrow, at 7. You don’t, right?”

Cas shook his head. “You want a ride?”

“Not unless you want to wake up at 7.”

“I don't mind, Dean.”

There was a short pause before Dean spoke again. “You wanna do lunch or dinner?”

“I can do lunch but I have to pick my brothers up from the airport at 6:30.”

“Hmm... Can I come?” Dean typically tried not to invite himself to things but he wanted to be with Cas as much as he could.

Cas was grateful for the offer, it was not a trip he wanted to take alone. “You’re welcome to. My brothers are fairly obnoxious, I am warning you.”

“I don’t care, as long as you’re there, Cas,” Dean said. Cas hummed against his mouth, smiling. He leaned in, kissing Dean sleepily until he couldn’t keep himself awake any longer. Dean kissed Cas’ forehead, sighing. “G’night, Cas.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this chapter needed a few more betas, I just couldn't find any... So if you see any mistakes, pretend you didn't see them ok.)  
> Long chapter is long.


	5. Chapter 5

Dean woke up to a deafeningly loud noise. It was Cas’ phone. He stumbled out of bed to find Cas’ pants, and he quickly silenced the phone by answering it.

“Mmmmm?”

“ _Hello?_ ” The voice was british.

It was too early for this. “Hey, dunno if you fuckin’ know this, but it’s like, three in the mornin’.”

“ _Who the fuck is this? Where’s Castiel?_ ” Whoever was on the other end was pissed.

“Sleepin’, like most people are at three in the mornin’,” Dean snapped.

“ _I didn’t ask what he was doing you twat, who the hell are you?_ ” the caller yelled.

Castiel was awake now, so Dean brought the phone to him. “I didn’t know if it was okay to say I was... your boyfriend.” Cas’ heart stopped beating for a fraction of a second. _Dean was his boyfriend_. He smiled softly, reaching for the phone. “They’re pissed and british,” Dean whispered. Cas took the phone and put it on speaker, putting a finger to Dean’s lips.

“Hello, Balthazar.”

“ _It’s about fucking time. Who the hell was that?_ ”

“My boyfriend, Dean.”

“ _Christ, you’ve really got a boyfriend?! Gabriel, you won’t believe this, our little brother has a boyfriend! Finally!”_

“My brothers...” Cas apologized, blushing.

“ _CONGRATULATIONS! We’re going to make you a cake as soon as we get home._ ” Someone else had taken the phone, Dean assumed it was the other brother, Gabriel. “ _Speaking of home, change of plans. We’ll get into town at 1 AM tomorrow, no need to thank me. Go ahead and give Delta airlines a piece of your mind, they moved us cause they overbooked. But that’s not why we called. Someone sent Anna a text, and Anna, being Anna, shared it with the clan. We called to verify that rumor. You lost your v-card?_ ”

Cas frowned and looked at Dean, who promptly scooped up the phone and took it off speakerphone.

“Hi, this is Dean, Cas’ boyfriend.” Dean loved the way Cas grinned when he said that.

“ _Hey, man, can I just thank you? Castiel, well, he isn’t the hottest piece of ass in the Novak family, but he at least deserves to be happy._ ”

“You’re talking to the wrong person, I think he’s a damn fine piece of ass. And can you drop the act, it’s three in the morning and I’ve got work in four hours.”

“ _Yeah, sure, fine. So, did he cry during sex?_ ”

“No, there was no sex. Sorry to disappoint ya, but I intend to get to know your brother a lil’ bit more before I screw him.” Dean shot an apologetic look towards Cas, regretting his words the moment they left his mouth. “He’s worth more than that... Well, it was great talking to you, but we’re going back to sleep now.” Dean hung up and flopped back on the bed beside Cas.

“You still want to meet them?” Cas whispered.

“Why the hell not? They sound like a fun crowd. Where are they flying in from?”

“Seattle.”

“Huh. So the british brother? Is he, uh, adopted?”

“No, my father remarried three times.”

“Sounds like an interesting story. You should tell it to me when I’m not half-asleep.” Dean yawned. He pulled Cas close and pressed their lips together, gentle kisses carrying them both back to sleep.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I really liked writing this dialogue)


	6. Chapter 6

When Dean woke again, he realized just how much he hated his job. Cas was warm and close, his breath hot and wet on Dean’s neck, and Dean wanted nothing more than to stay like this for the rest of eternity. But his alarm clock was blaring Heat of the Moment, and Cas was waking up. Dean stretched and considered calling in sick before remembering that he was self-employed. Cas yawned.

“Mornin’, beautiful.” Dean smiled at Cas. Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and buried his face in the photographer’s neck, but let him slip away to shower and shave. Cas dozed for thirty minutes and was awoken by Dean’s lips against his. Dean smelled clean and sharp, and his cheeks were so smooth Cas didn’t want to stop touching them. Cas eventually pulled away, sleepily admiring Dean’s nicely toned chest. His eyes fell on a tattoo on Dean’s collarbone he hadn’t noticed before, a pentacle surrounded by flames. He brushed his fingers over the mark, looking to Dean for explanation.

“It’s a superstitious thing. A protective sigil. It’s, uh, supposed to protect me from possession. Don’t really believe in all that but it’s a reminder of my dad.” Dean sighed. “You getting up or am I walking?”

Cas nodded, sitting up and heading into the bathroom, where he washed his face and brushed his teeth. He returned to Dean’s room, finding the photographer fully dressed and busy unhooking his camera from the computer. Cas crept up behind Dean and wrapped his arms around him, inhaling a deep lungful of his scent.

“I need clothes.” Cas whispered into Dean’s neck. Dean laughed and waddled over to his dresser because Cas wouldn’t let go of him. He pulled out a pair of jeans, some socks, and an AC/DC t-shirt and tossed them on the bed.

“I’m gonna go make breakfast, get dressed.” Dean said. Cas obeyed, finding Dean’s clothes fit him nicely. He dressed quickly and headed downstairs, where Dean was huddled over the frying pan. The smell of freshly brewed coffee filled his nostrils.

“I might not be able to make mac and cheese but I do make a mean scrambled egg.” Dean said. Cas yawned and hopped onto the counter. “We should leave in forty minutes.” Dean finished cooking the eggs and handed a plate of eggs and a mug of coffee to Cas. They ate sitting on the counter. When Cas had finished, Dean took both of their plates and mugs and set them in the sink. He held out his hand, and Cas took it, following Dean back upstairs to finish getting ready. Dean checked his email and replaced the batteries in his camera, and Cas put on his shoes and checked his phone, finding nothing amiss apart from the jacket Gabriel was complaining about missing.

Dean rifled through his closet and threw a hoodie at Cas’ head. “It’s cold outside.” Cas pulled it over his shoulders. Dean pulled on a green military jacket, pulling out his phone and handing it to Cas. “Put in your number and then text your phone. I gotta take a leak.” He disappeared. Cas did as he was told. Dean emerged and Cas handed him his phone, which Dean checked. He smiled at the message Cas sent himself. ‘ _Hey, handsome._ ’ Dean took Cas’ hands and kissed him until he was late, pulling himself away to curse at the clock. They headed down the stairs and out the front door. On the drive to Dean’s shop, they decided on a burger joint for lunch. Cas pulled into the parking lot, parking next to a red VW Bug.

“That’s my coworker, Charlie. I gotta introduce you, come inside with me.” Dean was buzzing with excitement. He led Cas into the shop, throwing the door open with a flourish.

“Someone’s in a good mood today.” A woman with bright red hair stood at the counter, unpacking a box of memory cards. She looked up. “ _Oh_.”

“Charlie, this is Cas, my boyfriend.” Dean loved being able to say that. He could tell by the way Cas squeezed his hand that Cas loved it too.

“Wait, wait, wait... Is this the guy you were _pouting_ over on Thursday? The guy you were _stalking_?” Charlie asked, grinning wickedly. Dean blushed. “You move fast, huh... Hey, Dean, has that Nikon shipment come in yet?”

“No? I thought it was due Monday?”

“Yeah, well, The Dark Lord is getting impatient. I got another weird-ass voicemail from him.”

“Huh.” Dean frowned. “He called your phone?”

“Yeah?”

“Wait, so you gave him your number?”

“No...? I thought that was on the website.” Charlie looked confused.

“No, it’s not.” Dean scratched his chin. “Uh, I’ll handle this. Just gimme a sec.” Dean turned to Cas. “Lunch at noon, right?” Cas nodded. “Sweet. I’ll see ya then.” Dean kissed Cas goodbye, and Cas left.

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

The drive home was silent, and Cas hated it. This was new for him, and part of him wanted to go home and cry because things were happening too fast and he was feeling emotions he never knew he could feel. He missed Dean already. Dean was stable, he was warm, and he cared about Cas. Nobody had ever cared for Cas, not like this. Maybe that was his problem. He was vulnerable and inexperienced and lonely. He let himself fall in love with the first person who smiled at him. That was his mistake. He needed to shut down whatever he had with Dean before things progressed any further and he got hurt.

Cas pulled into the garage and shut the car off. He got out of the car and headed inside, wanting nothing more than to crawl back into bed and forget any of this happened, but the moment he stepped into the kitchen, he was attacked. Anna had been waiting for him, no doubt. She interrogated him, and Cas assured her that nothing had happened between him and Dean. But he was wearing Dean’s clothes, he smelled like Dean, and he could still taste Dean on his lips. He tore himself away from Anna and headed upstairs, plunging into an icy shower and washing every trace of Dean from his body. He emerged, shivering, and dressed in a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Cas curled up in his bed and fell asleep, woken only by the sound of his phone ringing. He reached for his phone and managed to knock it from the nightstand to the floor. Cas groaned and leaned over the side of the bed to retrieve it. He put it to his ear.

“Hello?”

 _“Hey, babe. You okay?”_ It was Dean. Cas’ stomach churned.

“What?”

_“You sounded sick.”_

“No, I just woke up.”

 _“Ah, well, nevermind...”_ Dean trailed off.

“Why’d you call me?”

_“I’m bored. Lunch is in three hours and nobody’s walked in the door all day.”_

Cas didn’t know how to respond to that. He was beginning to miss Dean again.

_“Cas?”_

“I’m still here.”

_“Good. Well, uh, we actually do have a customer now so I’ve gotta go. See ya.”_

“Goodbye, Dean.” Cas waited for the line to go dead before he pulled the phone away from his ear. He sighed. Dean had sent him a number of texts while he was asleep, mainly just complaining about how he was bored. Cas sent Dean a text, asking Dean to call him an hour before noon. He fell back asleep holding his phone against his chest. It rang at 11:06.

“Hello?”

 _“Hey, babe. So, why’d ya want me to call you?”_ Dean sounded frustrated, but Cas didn’t think it was directed at him.

“Because I was falling asleep.”

_“Dude, you slept like, 9 hours total last night?”_

“I typically spend my weekends sleeping in. I don’t get very much sleep at during the week, so I sleep in on Wednesdays and Saturdays.” Cas yawned.

 _“You have Wednesday off? No fair.”_ Dean sighed.

“What’s wrong?”

 _“So apparently, someone’s stalking Charlie. She’s trying to get a hold of Xena, but if she can’t, I can’t leave work for lunch because I don’t want to leave her here alone.”_ Dean explained.

“Xena?”

 _“Charlie’s got a new girlfriend, I don’t remember her name. Oh, it’s Dorothy,_ Charlie, stop eavesdropping. _But she’s huge. Like, Xena, warrior princess, huge.”_

“I don’t know who Xena is.”

“ _Man, do you know_ anything _?”_ Dean laughed.

“Dean, if you can’t leave, I could pick something up and bring it in...”

_“Uh yeah, sure. Hey, Cas, I’ll call you back in a bit, I’ve gotta take over ‘cause someone just walked in. Bye.”_

Cas changed back into the clothes Dean lent him, burying his face in Dean’s hoodie and inhaling his scent. He didn’t know what to do. But for now, he was content just riding the wind and seeing where it took him. Maybe he would regret it later, but he would regret walking away from Dean just as well. He shaved and brushed his teeth again, before slipping into a pair of tennis shoes and heading downstairs. Anna was on him the moment his feet left the stairs, concerned by his earlier disappearance and wondering why he was dressed to leave. He tried explaining but he wasn’t really sure what was happening. Dean called him, and Cas realized he was going to be late. Charlie’s girlfriend had showed up, which meant that Dean was free to join Cas for lunch. Cas waved goodbye to Anna and hopped in his car, starting the drive to Dean’s shop.


	8. Chapter 8

Cas walked through the door of the shop, finding Dean busy tending a customer. He strolled the shop while he waited, catching Dean's eye every so often and watching the photographer smile softly before turning his attention back to the patron.

"Cas?" Dean called after a few minutes. Cas peeked out from one of the aisles, the customer had left. "You ready?" Dean grinned. Cas nodded. Dean grabbed his jacket and scribbled something on a piece of paper, taping it to the door, and turning the open sign around. He gestured for Cas to follow him as he left the shop and locked the door. Dean walked to Cas' car and waited for Cas to unlock the door before he slid inside, rubbing his hands together excitedly. Cas got in and turned the car on, backing out of the parking lot and driving to the diner they had agreed on that morning. 

Dean ordered for Cas, upon his request, and Cas was pleased to discover that the burger Dean had ordered him was extremely good. "So, now that I'm not half asleep, what's the story with your dad and his three wives?" Dean asked, popping a fry into his mouth and washing it down with a mouthful of soda.

"My father is, er, was, a writer. I won't get into details on that because it's complicated, but my father was obsessed with biblical mythology, specifically, the mythology of the angels. He named all his children after angels. Castiel was the angel of Thursday, consequently the day I was born. While some were adopted, most of us are actually his children. My brother, Balthazar, is the result of my father's first marriage, he stayed with his mother after the divorce, which is why he speaks with an accent. Most of us stayed with my father after the divorces, I'm one of the youngest and last of his children, which is why I still live in his house. The rest of my brothers and sisters have grown up and moved away, Gabriel, Balthazar, and Michael are the only brothers who still speak to me. Of course, Anna still lives with me. That's my family..." Cas took another bite of his burger, licking the sauce off his lips and chewing slowly.

"What about your dad? Does he still live with you?"

Cas finished chewing and swallowed. "He disappeared seven years ago. We believe he's still alive, he sends us gifts every Christmas and pays the bills on the house, but apart from that we haven't heard much from him."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Dean apologized, Cas shook it off with a shrug. "So, why are your brothers flying here?"

"Thanksgiving. We try and stay in touch as much as we can in case we do get any news about our father." Cas swallowed the last bite of his burger.

"Thanksgiving is in, like, a month? They staying through Christmas too?"

"I believe so. I don't know why they're flying in so early."

"Huh." Dean finished his burger and paid for their meal, rejecting Cas' offer to split the bill with a simple, 'Makeout with me for the rest of my lunch break and you owe me nothing.'

Cas peeled out of the diner parking lot and drove to Dean's shop, parking sloppily. He paid off his debt for the remaining twenty minutes, releasing Dean five minutes after his break ended. Dean got out of his car, a smile plastered on his face, and headed back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (this chapter was not beta'd at all it's really short I'm sorry)


	9. Chapter 9

“I don’t know what to do, Anna. I think I like Dean, but... I’m not sure whether things are moving too fast as I don’t have any previous experience to compare this to.”

“Can you at least fill me in? What happened between you two?”

Cas sighed and began telling Anna the whole story, but she interrupted when he started describing the first kiss. “Not to sound rude, but I think he might have taken too much initiative from you here. You’re not all that great at displaying or concealing your emotions, and I think the reason things started off moving so fast was because Dean misinterpreted your intentions. I’ve spoken to a number of your female friends and they’ve all mentioned this. At some moments, you act as if you’re about to make a move on them. Meg said she thought you were going to kiss her at one point, and she was confused because she knew you were gay. I think Dean acted on that. You also said Dean seemed like the kind of guy to have more experience with flings than with relationships. So maybe you should talk to Dean about this? Tell him things are moving a little fast for your comfort or something.”

Cas gaped. “I didn’t even tell you the full story, how did you understand the situation so well?”

Anna laughed. “I watch a lot of tv. And read a lot. And write a lot...”

“From what I’ve told you, do you get the impression that things are moving a little fast?”

“Honestly, Castiel, that’s all up to you. Dean doesn’t have experience with long-term relationships, but you said that’s what he said he wanted this to be. If you’re uncomfortable, tell him to slow down. I think he’s doing his best, but neither of you really have any experience with relationships, so you’ve just gotta go with it. Personally, I’d say you embrace the fact that Dean has a lot of knowledge on sex and the works, your relationship is likely going to depend on a lot of physical attraction and intimacy because you’re both pretty helpless at romance.”

“Uh, wow.” Cas blinked. “Anna, thank you.” His sister put her head on his shoulder. Cas felt exhausted. He hadn’t exactly slept all that well in bed with Dean, he had spent the night battling his own arousal and finding Dean in the same position made it worse. Cas was not looking forward to picking his brothers up from the airport, but then he remembered that Dean had volunteered to join him. “Dean’s coming over after work and then he’s coming with me to pick up Gabriel and Balthazar.”

“He gets out of work at 6?”

“Yes.”

“It’s 5:45.”

Cas jumped off the couch, scrambling to find his shoes. He drove as quickly as he could, but it was rush hour, and he hit traffic as soon as he pulled out of his neighborhood. Cas called Dean to tell him he would be late. Dean didn’t answer, but Cas left a message, and Dean texted him back, saying that it was fine. When Cas pulled up to the shop at 6:24, Dean was waiting on the curb. He smiled when he saw Cas’ car and stood up, pulling open the car door and sliding in.

“Hey.”

“Hello, Dean.” Cas beamed, and Dean leaned in and kissed Cas briefly before pulling back and putting his seatbelt on. Cas pulled out of the parking lot, heading home.

“So, where are you taking me?” Dean asked.

“My house. Do you still want to come with me to pick up my brothers?”

“Hell yeah, I’m still up for it. It means I get to spend more time with you.” Dean found Cas’ hand and squeezed it. Cas’ fingers were cold.

“They land at 1 AM, so we’ll be out fairly late... Would it be more convenient for you to just spend the night with me?” Cas sounded extremely nervous.

“Uh, I dunno about convenient but yes. Yes, I’d love to spend the night with you again, if you’ll come with me and Sam to pick up my car from the shop tomorrow afternoon.”

“Can we sleep in?”

“Dude, I don’t wake up unless I have to. We’re definitely sleeping in. But I want you to see my car.”

“Okay.” Cas was silent for a while. Dean turned on the radio and skimmed through Cas’ presets before settling on a rock station. “My sister’s going to be home. I kinda told her all about you, uh, I was venting. She might be a little critical. Her name’s Anna.”

“Why were you venting?”

“I’ve... I’ve never been in a relationship before... I didn’t know what to do and I needed someone to confide in. I was confused and  overwhelmed by how fast things were moving and my sister helped me understand the situation a lot better. I’m sorry.”

“Why are you sorry? Cas, you have nothing to be sorry for. You’re doing great. If you ever feel like things are moving too fast, tell me, please.”

“Dean, it’s fine. Nothing’s moving too fast, I’ve just never... ‘moved’ before. I’m okay.”

“Cas, hey. If you ever need a break, say something, ‘kay?” Dean squeezed Cas’ hand again.

“I will.”

They listened to a Led Zeppelin song in silence for a while. Dean hummed along, stroking Cas’ thumb with his own. Cas pulled into the garage, contemplating Dean’s comment on the magnificence of his house.

“It’s not mine. It’s my dad’s house. It’s a long story, ask Gabriel tonight, he’ll tell you everything.” Cas sighed. He got out of the car and headed inside, Dean trailing behind him. Cas set his keys on the counter and sighed again. Dean ran a hand along the back of Cas’ neck, and Cas turned to face him. Cas leaned forward, kissing Dean gently. Dean stroked Cas’ cheeks with his hands, and Cas tugged at his hair and pulled him closer. Someone cleared their throat. Cas pulled away, locking eyes with Anna, who was concealing a smirk behind her hand.

“Dean, this is Anna, my sister.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Anna.” Dean extended a hand, and Anna shook it.

“Likewise.” Anna turned to Cas. “He’s hunky. Good catch, brother.” Anna frowned. “You need rest, Castiel. Make sure he gets some sleep.” Anna’s last statement was delivered to Dean with an unsettling glare.

“Won’t be a problem. I’ll put on a history documentary and see how long it takes him to drop.” Dean grinned, wrapping an arm around Cas. Cas leaned back into him, tilting his head up to smile at Dean. Anna vanished.

“My bed or the couch?” Cas asked.

“Depends. Can I nap too?” Dean pulled Cas against his chest.

“Yes.” Cas yawned.

“Bed, then.” Dean said, letting go of Cas and following him upstairs and into a dim room. Cas flopped down on a king sized bed, and Dean made a mental note to explore the room at a later time, because the window was cracked, the room was freezing, and all Dean wanted to do was curl up under the covers with Cas. He shut the door and window, kicked off his shoes and pulled off his jacket, and slipped underneath the comforter next to Cas. Cas yawned again and wrapped his arms around Dean, and he was out cold in seconds. Dean took out his phone and set an alarm for 8:30, setting it on the nightstand and settling in against Cas, whose body heat and rhythmic breathing lulled Dean to sleep in a matter of minutes.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Dean woke up cold. He reached for the comforter, which had been kicked off at some point, and pulled it around himself and remembered where he was. He could feel Cas’ heat behind him. Cas had ended up spooning Dean in his sleep. He slid backwards, positioning himself to fit against Cas’ body. Cas’ breathing hitched and he jerked backwards, apologizing. Dean had brushed against something hard, which he had initially assumed to be Cas’ belt but now he realized...

“Cas, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Christ, man, don’t be sorry... Not for that...” Dean was having a hard time keeping his breathing steady, he was turned on and he knew Cas was in a similar state. “I’m in the same boat.”

Cas made a tiny noise, his eyes blown wide like a deer caught in headlights when he realized what Dean meant. He tried to shift the subject. “What time is it?”

“It’s eight thirty.” Dean’s alarm had gone off.

“Oh! I didn’t mean to sleep this long, I’m sorry. Are you hungry? I have food, I think. In the kitchen.” Cas was eager to get out of this situation.

“Lead the way.”

Cas led Dean out of his room, helping Dean orient himself in the house with a brief tour of the hallways and main floor. Cas stopped in the kitchen, looking hopelessly through the fridge. Dean could tell he had little experience cooking.

“We can just order a pizza, Cas.”

Cas sighed and muttered, “Thank you.” Dean grinned and took the opportunity to pin him against the fridge and kiss him. He pulled back when he remembered what Cas had mentioned in the car ride home from work. Dean was going to take things slower, he didn’t want to risk losing Cas, not so soon after finding him.

They ordered a large pizza and invited Anna to eat with them. She took it as an invitation to interrogate Dean, and Dean reacted calmly, answering her questions politely and honestly. He told her about his job, music tastes, car, and his favorite movies and tv shows, and after about ten minutes of questioning she sat back and nodded at Cas. “Keep him, he’s got good taste. Especially since he likes you.” Cas beamed at Dean and his sister, he was proud of both of them. They finished the pizza and as they cleaned up their plates, Anna pulled Cas aside. “Castiel, is it okay if I talk to Dean alone?”

“Yes.” Cas understood that she wanted to get to know Dean as well. She was protective, but she truly loved Cas, and he trusted his sister.

Anna smiled and spoke to Dean, Dean nodded and kissed Cas on the cheek, whispering, “I’ll be back,” before heading into the living room with Anna.

 

* * *

 

“Castiel is... a handful.” Anna said. “He doesn’t know much about the world around him, I mean, Castiel is brilliant, but he has a hard time with people.”

“I gathered.”

“He confessed his feelings to me earlier today, and... I’m worried for him. I want to make sure he's in good hands. It’s not that I don’t trust you because I’ve seen the way you look at each other like there’s nobody else in the world but... I want you to understand that he doesn’t express emotion very well.”

Dean nodded.

“It’s really hard to tell if Castiel is hurting.” Anna sighed. “Which is why I started worrying when he came to me this morning. He doesn’t know what to do and I think he’s pretty scared about all this. I mean, you’re kinda his first... everything. He really likes you, I can tell, but he doesn’t know how to go about a relationship.”

“I don’t either...” Dean confessed. “I’m a bad first for him...”

“I told him he should embrace the fact that you have more experience with the more physical aspects of intimacy and let things go from there...”

“So you basically told him to have sex with me.” Dean frowned. If that was true, it made Cas’ reaction earlier make a little more sense.

“I meant that you guys should cuddle and make out and stuff...”

“I think Cas took it the wrong way cause he freaked out earlier when we were spooning and- uh, I’m gonna spare you the details, but he’s not ready for sex, and I think he feels bad about that.”

“Oh.” Anna was quiet for a while.

“I, uh, I really like Cas. And honestly, that sounds pretty damn stupid considering I only actually met him yesterday, I mean, it’s not like I think he’s the _one_ , but he’s the first person I’ve ever felt this way about... I don’t want to lose him.”

“You understand Castiel in a way that I don’t. You shouldn’t have a problem keeping him... Just... Take care of my brother, or I’ll rip your heart out.” Anna left the room.

Dean walked into the kitchen, finding Cas trying to play a game on his phone, looking frustrated and confused. He watched Cas play for a while, not recognizing it or having any idea how it worked. But he didn’t really care, he just waited for Cas to beat the level before he kissed him. “Let’s go make out and watch tv.” Dean whispered against Cas’ lips. Cas complied.

 

 


	11. Chapter 11

“We have to leave in an hour, right?”

“Mmmm.” Cas hummed, not taking his eyes off the screen. Dean had found the original Batman animated series and they had been marathoning it for the past three hours. Batman was currently beating Mr. Freeze with a soup can. Cas was so absorbed in the show he didn’t feel Dean’s lips on his neck until Dean ran his tongue across Cas’ skin. Batman could wait.

Anna interrupted their third makeout session of the evening, walking into the room and plopping down in a chair with a bag of popcorn, unaware of the two sharing tongues on the couch behind her. Dean heard the bag rustle and tore away from Cas with a loud smack. Anna turned, hearing the noise, and her cheeks turned red.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t-” She stood up and left the room. Dean contemplated stopping her but Cas was ruthless, using Dean’s own tactics against him. Pink lips played against Dean’s jaw and Dean couldn’t help himself. Cas learned quickly, almost too quickly for Dean, as his jeans had become uncomfortably tight and he was having a hard time keeping his hands from trailing further down Cas’ back. It was difficult to stay chaste with someone who kissed him so hungrily. However long it would take before Cas was ready to go any further with Dean was too long, but Dean would wait because every time Cas looked into his eyes his heart stopped beating, and nothing was worth losing the feeling of weightlessness that settled in Dean’s chest whenever Cas said his name.

Dean felt something brush against his thigh and his heart skipped a beat. He was a little disappointed to realize it was only Cas’ phone. Cas pulled away, apologizing as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.

“We should go. Gabriel says they’re getting in early and we’re almost 45 minutes away from the airport.” Cas said. Dean untangled himself from Cas and turned the tv off, stretching as he stood up. They ran upstairs to get their shoes and coats, helping each other hurriedly stuff an arm into a sleeve or a foot into a sneaker. Cas led Dean into the garage, and Dean paused at the car door.

“Hey, uh, where’s that camera?”

“In the backseat? Why?” Cas frowned.

“Mmmm, reasons.” Dean slid into the car and reached over the seat. He managed to find the camera in the mess of discarded work clothes and empty coffee cups in the back of Cas’ car. He turned the camera on and grabbed Cas’ neck, pulling him into a brief kiss and snapping a picture.

“Dean?” Cas asked, confused.

“I needed a new desktop screensaver,” Dean answered, calmly. Cas smiled and shook his head, pulling out of the garage and heading for the airport. There wasn’t much traffic, but it still took 40 minutes to get to the airport, and another 10 minutes to find parking.

Dean took pictures of Cas while they waited for his brothers. Most of the pictures featured Cas looking annoyed, as he didn’t really like pictures, but Dean’s persistence made him feel warm and loved and he couldn't help but smile after a while. Dean took as many pictures as he could of Cas’ elusive grin, he was determined to be the first to document its existence. He played with the exposure and shutter speed until he was satisfied with the way every picture he took seemed to focus on Cas’ intense blue eyes and the sharp contours of his face. Some pictures gave him an almost angelic halo, and Dean made a mental note to look through these pictures in detail in the future.

“I didn’t know you were a celebrity, brother.” Cas looked up to see his brother stepping off the escalator. The man was short, with long brown hair and puppy dog eyes. He dropped his bags and tackled Cas, squeezing so hard Cas feared he would faint from oxygen deprivation. “So, you gonna introduce me to your photographer?”

“Dean, this is Gabriel. Gabriel, this is my boyfriend, Dean.”

“Hi.” Dean extended a hand, Gabriel shook it. “Weren’t there two of you?” Dean asked. The moment the words left his lips, Cas pointed over Dean’s shoulder and Dean whirled around to face the man standing only a foot behind him.

“Hello, I’m Balthazar.” The man grabbed Dean’s hand and shook it firmly. He was well toned and had short blond hair and an expression that screamed ‘ _I’m better than you_.’ Dean wasn’t sure if he would get along with this one.

“I’m Dean, Cas’ bo-”

“Yes, I’ve gathered. Shall we head home?”

They began the trek to the baggage claim, and collected the surplus of bags belonging to the brothers, who claimed ‘It’s a long stay!’ Dean managed to strap the bags together so they could be pulled with two hands, and took on the responsibility of carting the mass of luggage to the elevators. Each floor of the parking garage had a theme, and Dean assumed someone who cared about sports would appreciate the diversity, but he didn’t think much of it. They piled into the elevator, crowded by the mass of bags and hoping nobody else tried to squeeze in. As soon as the doors shut, an awkward silence fell over the group, broken only by the oddly bearable music blaring from the elevator speakers. Cas found himself sliding closer to Dean until they were pressed against each other, eyes locked on each others’ mouths.

“Hey, you two, look the other way for a sec.” Dean said, pushing Cas against the wall of the elevator and kissing him briefly, pulling away with a proud grin on his face. He threw an arm around Cas and Cas leaned against him, looking up at Dean with an expression of adoration that made Dean grin wider.

“Is there like, an emergency stop button on this thing because you two are fucking disgusting...” Gabriel muttered. Cas shot him a sour glare before settling against Dean’s arms. The elevator stopped, and Gabriel bolted, followed by Balthazar, both of whom jokingly coughed and gasped for fresh air. Dean sighed and shook his head, pulling the bags out of the elevator so Cas could get out. Cas would have offered to help, but he knew Dean was trying to impress his brothers with acts of affection and bravery. It seemed to be working.

“So, Dean, isn’t it? How long have you known Castiel?” Balthazar asked. Dean paled.

“Uh, a little over a day.” Dean said. Cas winced. “But I’ve had my eye on him for about a month now. I couldn’t get up the nerve to talk to him until a couple days ago, which is weird ‘cause I’m not one to get shy... And like, when I did talk to him I kinda fucked everything up ‘cause I got nervous and passed it all off as a business exchange but he actually showed up at my shop yesterday and here I am, rambling to his brothers because I don’t know how to prove how much I like him...” Dean was bright red, Cas squeezed his hand reassuringly.

“Sounds like the beginnings to a blockbuster chick flick... Dripping with puppy love and cheesy romance.”

“ _Balthazar_.” Cas warned.

“Ah, sorry. I’m a publisher, literary analysis runs through my veins. I do think you’re a good man for my brother, you have my approval.” Balthazar bowed his head. Dean smiled.

“Hey, Cas, what is all this shit in your backseat?” Gabriel asked. Cas helped him clear out the armful of coffee cups and tossed his work clothes into the front seat while Dean stuffed their luggage into the trunk. The all piled in, grateful for the heating as it was cold in the parking garage.

“Can I ask about the house?” Dean whispered. Cas frowned for a moment before remembering telling Dean to ask Gabriel about the house earlier. He nodded. “So, Gabe, I hear there’s a story that goes along with the fact that Cas lives in a fucking mansion?”

“The house? Yeah, it’s quite a story.”

“I hear you’re the one to tell it.” Dean prompted.

“So how much has Castiel told you about our dad?” Gabriel asked.

“I told him about the marriages.” Cas offered.

“So our dad gets around, you know that much. He’s a writer. A famous one, though you don’t seem the type to know his work so I’ll just leave it at that. But dear old daddy-o, bless his soul, he vanished about, what, six, seven years ago? I tell people he was a target for the Russian mafia and went into hiding to keep us all safe, make him sound like a hero, y’know? Well he left us his house. There was a little bit of sibling dispute over who gets to keep it, actually I think one of my distant brothers stabbed another over it. Of course, about that time, Michael, who’s essentially the Novak ringleader, gets a letter from dad. It says something along the lines of ‘everyone gets a million dollars, blah blah blah, stop fighting or I’ll kill you.’ And after that, everyone kinda just went ‘nah, fuck the house we’ve got a million bucks.’ Cas and Anna were the only two kids still living in the house, so they stayed, and Balthazar and I are the only two brothers who will tolerate them for the holidays. That’s basically all you need to know about our house.”

“Michael also tolerates us for the holidays.” Cas added.

“Aw, shit, is he coming this year?” Gabriel whined.

“I have not heard from him yet.”

By the time they pulled into the garage, it was two in the morning and Cas looked like a member of the undead. Dean essentially carried him upstairs and dropped him in bed, hesitating before stripping Cas down to his boxers and sliding in beside him. Dean set an alarm on his phone, tucking it under his pillow and curling up beside Cas. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been to the Chicago airport for years. I wrote as much as I could remember, and if any of it was wrong I do apologize.  
> Also if you haven't watched the Batman animated series, you're missing out. It's on Amazon Instant Video.  
> If you want to see Batman beating Mr. Freeze with a can (well, thermos) of chicken noodle soup, here. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pov-TDBO2vc


	12. Chapter 12

Dean woke to find Cas on the other side of the bed, cocooned in the comforter. _Fucking hog._ He found an edge and pulled, hard, rolling Cas over to face him and freeing a substantial bit of comforter. Dean would have been content with the corner he had unraveled but _god, Cas was warm_. He wrapped his arms and legs around Cas and sighed. Cas was like a furnace, and Dean was freezing. Cold toes brushed against warm skin and Cas jerked awake.

“Dean!” Cas growled.

“You stole all the blankets, I was cold.” Dean whispered against Cas’ ear..

“Sorry...” Cas mumbled.

“Y’know, you should help warm me up...” Dean hinted, letting go of Cas. Cas understood the request. He sat up and redistributed the blanket, wrapping Dean tightly in the comforter. Dean smiled stupidly at Cas, who settled down with his arms around him. Of course, there were only a few inches between their lips, Dean had to fix that. He sealed their lips, pressing a cold hand to the back of Cas’ neck. Cas gasped and pulled away from the icy touch, closer to Dean, giving him the perfect opportunity to slip his tongue between Cas’ lips. Cas was so gentle with Dean  it was almost angelic, but Dean could sense there was restrained power behind each slide of his tongue. He kissed with a delicateness that was only matched by the hungry noises he made and his impatient pulls at Dean’s head. Dean ached to see what kind of beast Cas was without any restraint. Eventually, Dean couldn’t stay awake any longer. He pulled away, warm and sleepy. Cas smiled and closed his eyes, nestling his head underneath Dean’s jaw. They faded into unconsciousness in each others’ arms.

* * *

  
Dean woke up again, warm, but uncomfortable. He had to pee, but Cas was pressed up against him and Dean didn’t want to leave him but he really had to. Grey light peeked through the curtains, it was six in the morning and Dean had no idea where Cas’ bathroom was. He peeled himself away from Cas, stood up, and looked around. He still hadn’t seen this room with the light on, but he could just make out a doorway on the other side of the bed. It was the bathroom, but Dean initially didn’t recognize it as so. The bathroom was massive, but Dean made a mental note to marvel at it at another time, when he wasn’t about to piss himself. One door appeared to lead to the toilet and Dean scrambled towards it. He took quick steps; his bladder ached and the marble floor was ice cold. He relieved himself, spent a few minutes searching for the sink in the dark, and then headed back to bed, Cas immediately curling around Dean when he returned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is short 'cause the next bit is long.


	13. Chapter 13

“Hey, Cas, do you have a charger? My phone’s about dead.” Dean felt terrible waking Cas up, but it was almost eleven. Cas groaned and pointed across the room to what Dean could see was a desk. He got up, found the cord, and plugged his phone in. Dean made sure the alarm was off, as it would go off in a few minutes, and crossed the room, sliding beneath the covers. Cas rolled over, wrapping an arm around Dean and resting his head on Dean’s chest. Dean stroked Cas’s hair for a few minutes before speaking again. “Cas, we gotta leave in two hours.”

“Hhm?” Cas moaned. _Oh god, sleepy Cas was adorable._

“We gotta be there at one to pick up my car.”

Cas sighed. “Okay.” He sat up and rubbed his eyes, yawning. Dean couldn’t take it anymore, Cas was too cute like this. He grabbed the back of Cas’ neck and kissed him softly. It didn’t take long for Cas to fully wake up. Dean slid a hand up the back of Cas’ shirt, and Cas made a soft sound as Dean’s fingers danced across his skin.

Gabriel burst into the room, immediately regretting his decision at the sight of his brother’s tongue down another man’s throat. “You know, there are locks on these doors, you should use them.”

Dean pulled away from Cas. “Y’know, you can _knock_ on the door...”

“I came to see if you lovebirds were awake. And Cas, thanks for the 'help' last night.”

“I’m sorry, Gabriel. I was tired.” Cas apologized. Gabriel left. “I should have made you drive last night.”

“Hey, we made it, we’re all in one piece, it’s okay.” Dean moved to get up, but Cas caught his arm.

“Can we kiss again?” Cas asked.

Dean sighed. “I don’t know if it’d be a good idea, you’re getting pretty good at it and I don't have very much self control.” _And I’m using every last bit of it right now, ‘cause all I want to do is rip your clothes off and have my way..._

“Okay...” Cas sighed. Dean wondered what it was like for Cas, kissing for him was permanently associated with foreplay in his mind, but Cas kissed like he couldn’t get enough of Dean’s mouth. Maybe Cas just hadn’t had all that much experience kissing, maybe Dean had too much experience, he wasn't sure, but he wasn’t going to take things too far. Cas broke the silence. “I’m going to go shower. Do you need anything?”

“Can I use your computer to upload the pictures I took last night, maybe check my email ‘nd stuff?”

“Yes, go ahead. I’ll be back.” Cas slid off the bed and disappeared in the bathroom.

Dean stretched and looked around the room. Cas’ walls were bare, except for the walls around his desk, which were covered in pictures. Dean crossed the room and sat down in the desk chair, inspecting the assortment of pictures. Many featured unfamiliar faces, maybe Cas’ relatives or maybe just friends. Out of all of the pictures on the wall, only one depicted Cas laughing, it was a picture of Balthazar, dressed in a store-bought angel costume and glaring at Cas, who was grinning like a buffoon. Balthazar must have lost a bet, because Cas looked proud. Dean smiled to himself and moved the mouse, waiting for the computer to respond. Cas had a Mac with a screen about the size of Dean’s tv. Dean wasn’t surprised to discover Cas’ screensaver was the default universe screensaver. He retrieved the camera and looked for a way to connect it to the computer. There was a loose USB cable sitting on the desk, Dean grabbed it and was relieved to find that the plug fit the camera. He hooked the cable to the Mac and sifted through the pictures on the SD card, moving the ones he liked to a new folder. Dean used Cas’ email to send the pictures to himself. He opened Safari and logged himself in, finding his inbox was filled with new messages. Most were just old friends complimenting his latest uploads, but a few piqued Dean’s interest. Dean opened one of them.

 

Sender: Garth Fitzgerald IV <mrfizzles24@gmail.com>

Subject: Possible Field Trip?

Message: Hi, my name is Garth, I teach a photography class and a colleage showed me your website. I was looking through some of your work, and it’s FANTASTIC. I saw that you own a shop downtown and was wondering if you teach classes. I’m just looking for a photographer to give my students some tips on photography, or even teach them about cameras. Respond if you’re interested?

Thanks,

Garth.

 

Dean had always wanted to teach a class on photography, this was like a dream come true. He sat for a moment thinking up a reply and then started typing.

 

Re: Possible Field Trip?

Message: Hey, Garth. I’d love to teach a class, if you could provide some details on everything I’m sure we could get that arranged. Are you open to drop by my shop to talk things over at some point this week?

 

Dean read the message over a few times before sending it. He could hear the shower turn off, so he logged out and unplugged the camera and checking his phone. Dean decided he might as well set his screensaver while he had a chance, so he opened the email on his phone and downloaded the pictures. Dean heard a faint noise come from the bathroom. He frowned, he could’ve sworn that was the sound of Cas cursing. Cas called his name and Dean froze.

“Dean, uh, I forgot clothes,” Cas called. Dean relaxed, realizing he was totally mistaken and that was not the noise of someone crying his name post jerk-off. Thank god.

“Uh, dude, you can come out in your towel.” Dean laughed. Cas emerged, blushing, and Dean couldn’t help but stare. The first thing he noticed were the wings. Cas’ back and shoulders were covered in feathers, inked in black and white and looking as realistic as a tattoo can get. Every slight movement of Cas’ arms ruffled the glossy feathers, tricking Dean’s eyes into believing- for a fraction of a second- that his boyfriend was a literal angel. Dean looked away from the wings, inspecting the rest of Cas’ body. It was clear that Cas worked out, Dean had known that ever since he first saw Cas in a t-shirt, the dude was fit. But without a shirt on, Cas looked even better, he was lithe and, well, Dean had the impulse to make a fool of himself and see how Cas would react to Dean’s tongue on his skin. Dean had to distract himself before his arousal was noticeable, so he turned his focus back to Cas’ wings. Cas’ body was something Dean would have to inspect in detail at another point...

“Holy shit, man...” Dean was speechless. He stood up and approached Cas, who looked confused until he realized Dean had noticed his tattoo. He turned, accustomed to this kind of reaction, permitting Dean to see the full tattoo. “Dude, this is... _awesome_...”

“Thank you.” Cas said, leaning over to grab a pair of jeans from a drawer. The movement created the illusion of the wings unfolding; as his skin stretched, the feathers separated just enough to look like real wings. “I was going to get them bigger but I realized that I wouldn’t be able to wear t-shirts without looking like a bird.”

Dean ran a hand lightly across a wing, still having trouble believing it was a tattoo and not an actual pair of wings. Cas shivered at the contact, arching his back a little and letting out a soft sigh. Dean realized that Cas was enjoying it, so he continued, tracing the outline of the wings with his fingers for a minute before pulling himself away with a deep breath, not wanting this to go any farther. For god’s sake, Cas was practically naked. It was too tempting for Dean. Cas seemed a little disappointed, but he understood. He slipped away to get dressed, handing Dean a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. The jeans were tight, and so was the t-shirt, Dean didn’t mind. Cas came out of the bathroom, fully dressed, dropping his laundry into a basket that Dean hadn’t noticed.

“There’s a razor and toothbrush for you on the counter.” He said, yawning. Dean shaved and brushed his teeth, stepping out of the bathroom to realize Cas had vanished. Dean grabbed his phone and headed down the hallway, running into Balthazar and nearly sending the man flying down the stairs because he wasn’t paying attention.

“Watch it!” Balthazar shot Dean a nasty glare and descended the stairs with his chest puffed out and his nose in the air. Dean rolled his eyes as he clambered down the stairs behind Balthazar. Cas wasn’t in the kitchen, but Anna handed Dean a poptart and motioned for Dean to sit at the table. Dean waited for Cas to come downstairs, starting to feel uncomfortable, as Anna had buried herself in her laptop at the other end of the table and an awkward silence filled the room.

Cas appeared at the bottom of the steps after a few minutes, looking like he had lost something. “Dean?” he called.

“Kitchen.” Dean called back. Cas visibly relaxed when he saw Dean at the table.

“I didn’t know where you went.”

“Same here, I thought you had gone downstairs.” Dean said, taking a bite of his poptart. Cas grabbed a poptart and sat down next to Dean. “So, do any of you cook?”

“No. I never had time to learn and Anna always sets things on fire.”

“Well, I can give both of you a few tips, if you want. I had to cook for Sammy growing up, I’m not the greatest at it but I’m not too bad either...”

Cas nodded. There was a short pause in the conversation. Cas spoke again. “So, what are we doing today?”

“Oh, shit, yeah. I forgot to tell you about that, sorry. My car needed new brakes, I didn’t have time to replace them myself so I took it in Monday, and me ‘n’ Sammy were gonna pick it up today. You don’t have to come, but I kinda wanna show off...”

“Dean, I have nothing better to do today, and I’d like to spend more time with you.”

Dean smiled, color blooming on his cheeks. “Awesome. We have to leave here in like fifteen minutes, you good with that?” Cas nodded. Dean called Sam, telling him that Cas was tagging along, and they headed out. The drive to Dean’s place was quiet, Cas was content buried in his thoughts and Dean was happy stroking Cas’ hand with his thumb and staring out the window. Sam was waiting next to his car when they arrived.

“So, which car are we taking?” Sam asked as Dean and Cas got out of the car.

“Yours.” Dean answered. Sam shrugged and fished his keys out, unlocking the car and getting in. Dean slid into the backseat so he could sit next to Cas. Sam gave him a funny look in the rear view mirror but shrugged it off and started the car. Dean intertwined his fingers with Cas’ and sighed. Nobody spoke, and it was okay, for once. The silence wasn’t awkward like the silence at the dinner table the first time Dean had brought a girl home to Sam, it was almost comfortable and didn’t involve Dean spilling spaghettios down the front of his shirt and Sam laughing so hard he started crying. Sam turned down the radio after a while and glanced in the rear view mirror a couple of times before clearing his throat.

“You two going to stare at each other the entire way there?” he said. Dean blushed. “How’s it going, Cas?”

“Um, I believe it is going well, although, quite frankly I have no idea what you’re asking.”

“You make my brother really happy, I’m asking if he makes you happy.”

“Yes.” Cas’ answer came instantly, almost without thought, and Sam grinned.

“Good, good.” Sam hesitated before continuing. “So, uh, Cas, tell me a little about yourself.”

“Um, I’m an insurance agent... I don’t really know what else to say...”

“Aw, c’mon, Cas, don’t be so hard on yourself.” Dean said, squeezing his hand. He spoke to Sam. “He likes Queen and Zeppelin, he’d choose Marvel over DC any day, drinks Coke, not Pepsi.” Dean turned back to Cas “What’s your favorite color?”

“Um, green.”

“Blue. Cat or dog?”

“Cat.” Cas frowned, not sure where this was going.

“Ick, I’m allergic. Uhh... Sport?”

“I used to play soccer.”

“Football for me. Not as much of a fan as I used to be. You play any instruments?”

“No.”

“Me either. Cas, this is what Sam wants to know. Just little things. Cas things.” Dean said. Sam voiced his approval from the front seat.

“Dean, how’d you know all that about me? I never told you any of that...”

“Was I right?”

“Yes.”

“Educated guesses. You recognized that Zep song the other day, I saw a Queen CD on one of your bookshelves. Coke cans in your recycling. I just guessed with the Marvel thing.”

Cas hummed and smiled at Dean. Sam turned the music back up, realizing they were having another ‘moment’, which meant they were staring at each other with such intensity that it seemed like they were communicating telepathically. There wasn’t much traffic on the interstate, there was nothing good on the radio, Sam was trying so hard not to worry about Dean but there was no way to avoid it.

Sam had never seen Dean this way. Not with another girl, not with one of the few guys Dean brought home, nobody had ever made Dean act like this.. There was something different about Dean. Dean seemed to trust Cas, and that surprised Sam. Dean always had a problem with trust. Relationships for his brother came down to a physical connection. Nothing sappy or emotional, no cuddling, no chastity. Dean never really got intimate, not emotionally. But here Dean was, in the back of Sam’s car, looking so utterly in love it was disgusting. With a man he had met only days before. Sam almost didn’t recognize Dean like this. Holding hands, smiling, blushing. God, Sam didn’t want to do anything to screw this up, he had never looked so happy before. So he kept his mouth shut and drove, praying to a God he didn’t believe in, praying that this stranger wasn’t going to crush his brother’s heart, praying that he wouldn’t be left to put Dean’s pieces back together again. Sam sighed and readjusted his grip on the steering wheel. Dean was laughing, Cas was smiling, and for the moment, everything was okay.

They arrived at the auto shop within forty minutes. Dean hopped out of the car, giddy with excitement, fumbling to grab Cas’ hand to pull him along. He practically skipped inside. Sam followed, laughing at his brother. He tried to make eye contact with Cas, wondering if Cas found the situation as hilarious as he did, but Cas was too distracted by Dean’s behavior to look at anyone else. The guy behind the desk, Rufus, had Dean show him some ID, Dean handed him his credit card, and signed off on some paperwork. Rufus handed Dean his keys, and Dean was gone. He ran out front, walking a full circle around his Impala to check for any possible blemishes, looking up at Cas once he was sure his car was safe to gauge his reaction. Cas was shocked, he hadn’t even considered Dean owning a muscle car, especially not one in this condition. Dean opened a door, gesturing for Cas to get in, and closed it behind him, circling around to get in the drivers seat. Sam expected them to take off, but instead, Cas took the opportunity to grab the collar of Dean’s shirt and pull him into a deep kiss. Sam left them alone, heading back to his car and getting in, taking a minute to call Jess and tell her he was on his way home, and pulling out of the parking lot.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> told you it was long... unbetaed, cause i dont have a beta anymore? if you wanna beta my shit pleasE PLEASE TELL ME I NEED A BETA PRETTY BAD CAUSE THIS FEELS KINDA GROSS.  
> more to come in a few days. maybe some fornication goin on soon idk.


	14. Chapter 14

 

“Hey Cas, you wanna go pick up your car from my place or just head home?” Dean asked.

“Home. You can... stay tonight, if you want.”

Cas seemed distracted for a majority of the car ride, listening to the purr of Dean’s Impala and the wail of AC/DC from the speakers. “Cas, what’s up?” Dean finally broke the silence, concerned that Cas hadn’t said anything. Cas looked startled; he swallowed, paled, and opened and closed his mouth a few times before he managed to get a sound out.

“Dean... I... I want to try something....” Cas looked so fucking scared. Dean felt terrible because he found it slightly arousing.

“What do you want to try, Cas?” Dean asked carefully, feeling as if he could scare Cas away with the wrong words because _boy_ , did it look that way.

Cas’ voice came out so softly, just a squeak of sound, before he flushed red and broke eye contact. Dean was positive he had misheard him. They pulled into Cas’ driveway and Dean was finally able to turn his full attention to the man sitting beside him.

“Cas?”

“Dean, I would like to... have... sex... with you.” Cas was beet red. Dean tried not to giggle; Cas looked so utterly terrified of the words coming out of his mouth.

“Cas, hey, why are you embarrassed? This is nothing to be ashamed of.” Dean tried consoling Cas but it wasn’t working -- Cas refused to meet his eyes. “Let’s go inside,” Dean said. Cas nodded, getting out of the car. Dean placed a hand lightly on Cas’ back and followed him into the house.

Dean took off his jacket once he was inside, and moved to help Cas out of his. He tentatively pulled at the bottom of Cas’ hoodie, and Cas suddenly launched into motion, grabbing Dean and pushing him back into the wall. _Oh, they were doing this now?_ Dean threw his jacket to the ground as Cas kissed him -- desperate, needy kisses like nothing Cas had ever given him before. Cas’ stubble grated against Dean’s skin; Dean didn’t know why, but the pain was addicting -- an icy burn that left his skin tingling in unholy ways.

Dean moaned when Cas slid a hand up the back of his shirt, their mouths slipping apart as Dean grabbed Cas’ hoodie and pulled it over his head. Dean grinned, throwing his arms back around Cas’ neck and kissing him briefly before trailing off to nibble at Cas’ jaw. Cas made tiny, needy sounds, and Dean pushed back against him, knowing they’d come undone in here if he didn’t get them moving.

They managed to maneuver halfway through the living room before crashing into the couch. Dean nearly fell over, but Cas had him in a surprisingly strong grip, reminding Dean of the muscular build underneath his shirt and oh god, Dean needed to get Cas’ shirt off him _now_. He managed to pull away for just long enough to tear Cas’ shirt off his back; he may have ripped a few stitches but Cas didn’t seem to care. Dean wrapped a hand around Cas’ waist and dug his fingers into the man’s back. He went to kiss Cas again but found himself lost in blue eyes.

“Cas, oh _god_ , this is good,” Dean breathed. Cas let out a sigh and his eyes got so big that Dean worried he was going to drown in them. “You okay?”

“ _Don’t stop_ ,” Cas whimpered. There was no way in hell Dean would do such a thing.

They got caught on the stairs, not wanting to break apart but knowing they couldn’t make it upstairs unless they did. Dean blamed it on Cas, who had discovered how to tease, keeping his mouth just out of reach so Dean had to grab the back of Cas’ neck to kiss him. Maybe Dean had a part in it, too, since he was currently groping Cas’ ass and running a hand through his hair -- two things he had learned had the power to completely incapacitate Cas. Cas was reduced to guttural moans and Dean was pretty sure at this rate they’d never make it to the bedroom.

Someone cleared their throat. Cas pulled away from Dean with a guilty expression plastered on his face and Dean looked up to find Gabriel applauding.

“Congratulations and all, but can I please get down the stairs? There’s a bottle of vodka in the cabinet with my name on it and frankly I’m going to need it to get that image out of my head.” Gabriel pushed past them, and Dean grabbed Cas’ hand and pulled him up the stairs.

They barely made it to Cas’ room. Cas growled and threw Dean to the nearest wall as soon as the door was closed and god, Dean loved this. Off went Dean’s shirt and Dean couldn’t restrain himself any longer. His hands wandered down Cas’ body, pulling Cas up against him. Dean could feel Cas’ erection against his thigh. The jeans he was borrowing from Cas had become painfully tight, as well, but he could wait. Cas was breathing heavily and eventually he was too distracted to kiss Dean, his mouth slipping away as Dean rolled his hips and moaned Cas’ name into his ear. Dean moved to kiss at Cas’ neck, sucking bruises into his’ skin.

“ _Fuck_ , Dean, _don’t stop that_.” Cas gasped. Dean liked hearing Cas curse a bit too much, and he was pretty sure he was going to lose it in his pants if he didn’t move.

“Bed, _now_.” Dean urged him backwards, and Cas obeyed, sitting down on the edge of his bed. Dean pushed Cas onto his back and straddled him.  Cas looked so fucking ravaged he couldn’t stand it -- Dean was going to get his pants off if it was the last thing he did. He squeezed Cas’ groin with a free hand, eliciting a loud groan. Cas bucked into Dean’s palm, throwing his head back and giving access to his throat. Dean’s tongue danced across his skin and Cas gasped, fingers digging deep into Dean’s back.

Dean undid Cas’ pants and pulled them down, letting Cas finish kicking them off while Dean worked at his own. He’d managed to unbutton his jeans before Cas’ hands covered his.

Cas looked into Dean’s eyes with an expression that asked, ‘is this okay?’ Dean nodded and stuttered, “I d-don’t think you could do anything wrong at this point.”  Cas tugged Dean’s jeans down just far enough for him to cup his hand around the growing bulge in Dean’s boxers. “Oh, Jesus, Cas,” Dean moaned. He was pretty sure he wasn’t going to make it out of his pants.

Cas stroked Dean’s erection through the thin layer of fabric and Dean whimpered, trying to gather enough breath to speak again. “Cas, buddy, you gotta stop that or we’re not gonna get much farther.” Cas withdrew his hand and Dean motioned for him to crawl backwards on the bed. Cas diligently did as he was told.

Dean shed his jeans and crawled back to Cas, straddling his body and kissing him. One of Dean’s hands wandered downwards, fingers tracing the outline of Cas’ dick, and Cas moved violently, bucking his hips and keening Dean’s name. Dean pulled back enough to look Cas in the eyes as he sat up, slipping a hand under Cas’ waistband and wrapping his dick in his hand. “ _Ohh, fuck, Dean,_ ” Cas whimpered. Dean stroked Cas’ cock slowly, watching Cas come undone at his fingertips.

“ _Dean, please_ ,” Cas panted.

“Please what?”

“Faster, _please_.” Dean couldn’t argue with that. He silenced Cas’ frantic cries with his lips. Dean paused, tasting blood. He pulled back, concerned. Cas shook his head. “Bit my lip. Keep going.” Dean huffed out a laugh, sealing their mouths together again and burying his free hand in Cas’ hair.

Cas bucked into Dean’s hand, obviously close. His own dick needed some attention. Dean withdrew his hand from Cas’ hair and repositioned himself so he was kneeling inches above Cas, kissing him softly and stroking his cock. He pulled his own dick out and wrapped his other hand around it, focusing on synchronizing his strokes. He wasn’t left-handed, but he didn’t think that would be a problem; it only took a few strokes to bring him to the edge. Dean pulled away, tugging at Cas’ bottom lip with his teeth, prompting Cas to make an unholy sound and claw at Dean’s back. Dean tilted his head forward, pressing their foreheads together and meeting Cas’ wrecked gaze. His blue eyes were almost completely swallowed by black.

“Cas, this is gonna feel _so fucking good_. God, _you’re so fucking hot_.” Dean was vaguely aware of his knees sliding out from under him, slipping on the silky sheets, and that was that. He fell against Cas, sending them both tumbling over the edge. Cas came with a shout, arching his back and crying Dean’s name, fingernails digging trenches into Dean’s back. Dean groaned, shuddering as he stroked them both though the waves of orgasm. When he was finished, Dean collapsed onto Cas, exhausted. He grabbed a kleenex from Cas’ nightstand and wiped them both clean before rolling onto his side to face Cas. Cas was glowing, grinning like a fool.

“So, how was it?” Dean asked, cradling Cas’ cheeks in his hands.

He smiled and leaned forward, answering Dean’s question with a kiss. Cas dozed off, Dean stroking his hair and trying to count the feathers on his back until he, too, was asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to my wonderful beta, beanmom, this chapter comes out looking a lot better than I expected it to.   
> First sex scene, how'd I do?  
> And I do promise there is a plot to this.


	15. Chapter 15

Dean wasn’t sure how long he had been awake or what time it was. He was hungry, and with Cas’ head on his chest, he was praying his stomach would stop growling. Cas was smiling in his sleep.

Dean didn’t know how things had moved so quickly, Cas had initiated everything, so it wasn’t like he’d forced Cas to do anything, right? Cas had enjoyed it too, very loudly. But he just didn’t look like someone who’d blurt, “I want to have sex with you,” in the middle of the day, which left Dean wondering what he’d done to mislead Cas.

Cas woke up slowly, blue eyes fluttering open sleepily. He yawned.

“Hey,” Dean grinned.

“Your stomach’s growling.” Cas stretched and rolled over to press a kiss to Dean’s chin.

“Yeah, I know. So’s yours.”

“What time is it?”

“No idea. I dunno where our pants went, phone’s in my pocket.” Dean smirked. He realized Cas was looking at him from an angle that likely gave him an unattractive triple chin.

“I do have a clock in here, you know.” Cas sat up, squinting to make out the numbers on his bedside clock. “It’s four. We slept for two hours.”

“ _You_ slept for two hours.”

“You’ve been awake this whole time?” Cas frowned.

“Well, no... I’ve been awake for a while, but definitely not two hours.”

“You could’ve woken me up at any time, Dean.”

“Yeah, but you don’t frown as much when you’re asleep,” Dean joked, realizing a moment too late that Cas might take it the wrong way. “I haven’t been awake for very long. Just long enough to realize how goddamn pretty you are.” Cas smiled and kissed Dean softly. He pulled away after a moment.

“Aren’t you hungry?”

“Yeah, hungry for your fucking tongue. Get back over here.” Dean paused before adding, “If you want.”

Cas frowned. “Why do you say that?”

“I don’t want you feeling obligated to do anything you don’t want to do.”

“Dean...” Cas sighed. “Honestly, I don’t think there’s anything I _don’t_ want to do to you.”

“Ooh, kinky. I like it.” Dean grinned, leaning in and sealing their lips together. Cas didn’t hold back, tongue probing the deepest regions of Dean’s mouth. God, he had a long tongue. Dean was half hard just thinking of the things that tongue could do to him. Cas suddenly pulled back.

“My car. I need my work clothes.”

“Dude, were you thinking about work while we were making out?”

“No... Well, maybe.”

“Don’t. We can get your car later tonight.” Dean licked his lips and pulled Cas against him, tugging at Cas’ lower lip and teasing him with the tip of his tongue. He was interrupted by his phone, blaring “Eye of the Tiger” from the floor. He cursed and slipped away to answer it.

“What the hell do you want, Sammy?”

 _“You coming home?”_ Sam asked.

“Gotta pick up Cas’ car, but no.”

_“Okay. Not saving any pie for you then.”_

“Fuck you, Sammy. I’ve got something better.”

_“Oh yeah, what?”_

“Cas’ dick.”

_“Ew, gross, man. Did not need to know that.”_

Dean hung up and was immediately tackled by Cas, who pinned Dean to the bed and kissed him. Fuck the pie, this really was better.

 

 


	16. Chapter 16

 

Gabriel and Balthazar gravitated towards the kitchen when Dean and Cas returned, smelling the chinese food. They ate in silence.

Cas suddenly spoke up. “There’s this woman who owns a dress that has Abraham Lincoln’s blood and brain tissue on it from the night he was assassinated. Researchers believe it may be the key to cloning Lincoln.”

Gabriel fell out of his chair. Dean choked on a mouthful of chow mein. “ _Jesus fucking Christ, Cas_. What the actual fuck?” He dropped his fork and put his head in his hands.

“What?” Cas looked confused.

“Why are you talking about cloning dead presidents while we’re eating dinner? More importantly, why were you thinking about cloning dead presidents while we’re eating dinner?”

“I don’t know, I wanted to initiate a conversation. I was listening to NPR on my way to work the other day and they were discussing it.” Cas shrugged, stuffing a forkful of General Tso’s chicken into his mouth and dropping his gaze.

Dean sighed and decided to roll with Cas’ lunatic idea. “Okay, so, the bloody dress. Why does it have Lincoln’s brains on it?”

“When he was shot, he fell unconscious on this woman’s lap. The woman kept the dress as a trophy and wore it on special occasions to entertain guests.”

“Oh my god. Okay, okay. So creepy lady with a gore fetish holds the key to the reincarnation of good ‘ol Abe. Huh.” Dean shook his head.

Gabriel was wiping tears out of his eyes. “Dean, most of the time we just nod and say, ‘Okay, Castiel, whatever you say,’ and then make a mental note to burn his secret stash of ‘shrooms before he does something stupid like forget that his wings are tattoos and jump off a roof. But you’re fuckin’ taking him seriously, huh? That’s some extreme dedication right there.”

“Well, he brought an interesting idea to the table, and it’s all we’ve got, considering you’re sitting there waggling your eyebrows at Cas and Balthazar’s over there performing fellatio on an egg roll.”

Balthazar looked Dean in the eyes and snapped his jaw shut on the egg roll.

Dean winced. “Oooh, literal boner killer.” He tried making one last joke out of the situation, and even Balthazar smiled.

Gabriel guffawed. “I like this one, Castiel. He’s got quite the mouth.”

Cas smiled.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I'm sorry.


	17. Chapter 17

Dean was already awake when Cas’ alarm went off. Dean wasn’t sure he had ever slept as much as he had in the last three days. Cas really wasn’t kidding about needing to catch up on sleep over the weekend -- he slept like a brick. Dean shook him awake.

“C’mon, Cas, get up, we’ve got time for another round if we hurry.”

“I have to shower.” Cas sat up and yawned. His breath smelled horrible, but Dean was pretty sure his wasn’t any better.

“Me too. Let’s kill three birds with one stone and do it all at once.”

Cas frowned. “You mean... Shower together?”

“Yes, stupid.” Dean kissed Cas’ forehead and got off the bed, glancing back over his shoulder to find Cas studying his ass. He smirked. “You in or what?”

Cas untangled himself from the sheets and slid off the bed.

“Why is your bathroom so huge?” Dean remarked.

“This is the master bathroom. The shower is in here.” Cas gestured to a glass door Dean hadn’t even noticed. His jaw dropped. The shower had at least five showerheads and looked like it could comfortably fit ten people.

“You shower alone in here?”

“Um, yes?” Cas turned on one of the showerheads and played around with the water temperature.

“Never feel lonely?” Dean frowned.

“No... I’ve always had these luxuries to myself. I guess yes, it does make me feel a bit lonely but I’ve nev-” Cas was cut off as Dean pushed him against the wall of the shower, kissing him fiercely.

“You don’t have to be alone.” Dean said, pulling Cas into the warm water. He wrapped Cas in strong arms and kissed him.

Cas wasn’t that experienced with kissing, but this felt different from the slow, leisurely kisses they shared on the couch, and it wasn’t anything like the breathless, needy kisses Dean stole as they rutted together under the sheets. This was electric, open, and so desperate that Cas couldn’t think. All he knew was Dean’s lips, Dean’s hands, Dean’s body against his own. Dean pulled back momentarily, looking into Cas’ eyes and grinning before leaning in again, chasing stray drops of water away from Cas’ lips with his tongue. He pulled away all too soon, and Cas found himself unconsciously leaning in to follow his lips.

“I’m gonna make us late.” Dean smiled, kissing Cas briefly before stepping away.

Cas grabbed a bottle of soap and offered it to Dean, who squeezed a generous amount onto his hands. Cas reached out to take the bottle back, but Dean pushed his hands away and shook his head, setting the soap on the bench and cornering Cas against the wall. Dean pressed a chaste kiss to Cas’ lips, soapy hands exploring his body. Dean’s grip was firm and rough, and Cas loved it. He knew the deftness of Dean’s fingers well after spending most of the previous evening in bed with him. His touch left a trail of goosebumps wherever it wandered.

Cas sighed softly and buried his face in Dean’s neck as Dean washed his back. He pulled back and knelt in front of Cas, running his hands up Cas’ legs, and oh, god, he needed Dean to touch him. He needed those soapy fingers wrapped around his dick. Cas whimpered as Dean’s hands trailed up the inside of his thighs. Dean smiled slyly, standing up and leading Cas back into the water, rinsing the soap from his body. Dean was teasing him, hands avoiding the place where Cas most wanted them.

“ _Dean_.”

“Hmm?” Dean hummed against Cas’ neck, sucking a bruise into his skin.

Cas made a soft noise. “Touch me.”

Dean smirked. “No can do, Cas.”

Cas frowned. “I thought you said...?”

“Yeah, I did, but I’m not going to touch you.” Dean dropped to his knees.

“Wha-” Cas stopped talking as Dean’s tongue flitted out to lick the head of his cock. Oh. He groaned as Dean wrapped his lips around his dick, his hands digging into the back of Cas’ thighs. Cas was shaking, knees gone weak. He leaned on Dean for support as Dean swallowed him deeper.

“D-Dean...” Cas choked out, digging his fingers into Dean’s hair. “I’m close.”

Dean dropped one hand to stroke himself, moaning around Cas’ dick. Cas let out a sharp breath, rolling his hips slightly. Dean’s tongue was doing unholy things to his cock. He didn’t have the stamina to hold on any longer, not with Dean touching himself as he sucked Cas down.

“Dean, _fuck_ , I can’t-” Cas shuddered as he came.

Cas’ hips jerked forward against his own will. Dean swallowed everything Cas gave him and slid off, panting as he jerked himself.

“Dean, let me.” Cas breathed. He fell to his knees in front of Dean. Dean gasped as Cas’ closed one hand around his dick, stroking softly. Cas met Dean’s lips with his own, kissing him gently.

“Cas, oh _god_ ,” Dean sobbed as Cas’ thumb grazed his slit. It didn’t take much before Dean lost it. He cried out, thrusting desperately into Cas’ fist. Dean leaned against Cas’ shoulder for a while, trying to catch his breath. They finished showering and stepped out, realizing just how late they were. They had ten minutes at most to get ready.

“Shit, Cas, do I need to shave?” Dean hopped around on one foot, trying to pull a sock on while simultaneously brushing his teeth.

“No, I like your stubble.” Cas struggled to button his shirt. Dean helped him into his suit jacket and threw his tie around his neck, dragging Cas out of the room. They got halfway down the stairs before Dean realized his phone was still on the charger.

They finally made it to the kitchen and scrambled to find something to eat. Then they were off, crashing into Balthazar as they left the kitchen.

“What are you doing up?” Cas asked, frowning. Balthazar never woke up early.

“Yeah, about that. You two make quite a lot of noise. I came down here to get some fucking sleep, but it looks like that won’t be an issue, since you’re leaving.” Balthazar stalked past them, heading back upstairs. Dean smiled at Cas, pulling him out the door and heading to work. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i swear there is some kind of plot coming up i just need to get to it


	18. Chapter 18

Dean dropped Cas off in front of his office in time for him to stamp his time card at a minute before 8. People gave him strange looks as he walked to the elevator, and one of his coworkers flashed him a thumbs-up as he passed. Oh _god_ , could they tell? As soon as the metal doors shut, Cas checked his reflection, wondering what gave him away. His tie was crooked, but apart from that he looked completely normal. Could they _smell_ it on him? Cas jumped when someone spoke up behind him.

“So... you got lucky, huh?” It was Kevin Tran, the IT guy he’d sent home to fix his internet on Friday. The guy who’d ended up in bed with his sister Friday night.

Cas frowned. “How exactly did you know?”

“Uh, hickeys.” Kevin pointed to the constellation of bruises on the back of Cas’ neck. Cas unconsciously brushed a hand over the marks.

“Damn it, Dean,” Cas muttered under his breath, adjusting his collar so it covered the majority of the bruises. Even with his efforts to hide them, three people noticed before he got to his desk. He pulled out his phone and glanced around him, making sure nobody could see him in his cubicle. He snapped a picture of his neck and sent it to Dean, slipping his phone in his pocket and turning his computer on.

 

* * *

 

Dean’s phone buzzed as soon as he unlocked the door of his shop. He walked inside and set his keys down, reading the message. Cas had sent him a picture of the hickeys he had sucked into his neck the night before, captioned, _“The entire office knows.”_ Dean grinned and sent a message back: _“Mission accomplished.”_ He hung up his jacket and headed to the darkroom, sitting down in his chair and measuring chemicals. He paused to turn on some music, finding the silence unsettling, and within fifteen minutes he was singing off-key to Metallica. His phone buzzed again. _“Five people have come to congratulate me already. Apparently the subject of my virginity was quite popular around here. I had no idea.”_ Dean laughed.

“Dean?” Charlie called.

“What?”

“You exposing?”

“No, you can come in.”

Charlie peeked her head through the curtain. “You’ve been singing. Did you make a move on Cas last night or what?”

“Is there like some secret ‘just-got-laid’ sense all coworkers have?” Dean sighed, smiling.

“Yeah, c’mon, I wanna hear this. Spill.”

Dean sighed again. “So we went to pick up my car yesterday, and I dunno what it was, maybe the guy has a car fetish or something, but we got in and he just launched himself at me, kissing me like he’d never kissed me before. I’d honestly had no idea he had it in him. So we made out for a little while before I pulled away and started driving home. He didn’t say anything for most of the drive, and I thought he was feeling bad or something so I asked him, “what’s up,” and he, no joke, said, “Dean, I would like to have sex with you.” Then he got all embarrassed and I thought he had changed his mind or something so we went inside -- where he immediately threw me against the wall.” Dean blinked, shifting in his seat because just thinking about the previous night had made him hard. He cleared his throat. “I’m gonna spare you the vivid details, but...” Dean pulled out his phone and showed Charlie the picture of Cas’ neck, grinning proudly. “He says everyone noticed.”

“Hmm. It looks like Hawaii. I’d give it an 8.5 out of 10.” Charlie smiled, glad to see Dean in such a good mood. “Am I working front desk today?”

“Yeah, I gotta finish the creepy guy’s weirdass pictures. Dude looks like he could curdle milk just by staring at it. I don’t want to piss him off.”

“What are we gonna do about the Dark Lord?” Charlie chewed on her lip.

“The stalker guy? Uh, if he comes in, just holler for me. And don’t forget to turn the open sign around this time.”

Charlie vanished behind the flap and Dean smiled to himself, glancing at his phone again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters today cause i wont be here to upload this one tomorrow.  
> may or may not update this in the next two days, depends on how busy i am.


	19. Chapter 19

“Uh, Dean? The Dark Lord has arrived.”

“Shit, I’m stuck. The camera’s here, it’s under the counter. I’ll be ten minutes, at most.” Dean couldn’t even dial 911 -- the light from his phone would ruin the photographs he was developing. He couldn’t hear much through the curtain, but what he heard wasn’t comforting: raised voices, Charlie sounding scared.

“Dean?” Charlie called as Dean doused the pictures in the final bath, stopping the exposure.

“Five minutes. I’m sorry. I’ll be right out.”

He heard Charlie take a deep breath. “Okay, mister, first off, I’m gay. You’ve got no chance with me. Second, if you don’t get your ass out of here, I’m going to have to take action. And just for the record, I’ve got eleven years of martial arts training and a brown belt. Don’t fuck with me, bitch.” Charlie was stern and Dean was a little scared by her tone. But it didn’t work on the guy; he continued to protest.

As soon as Dean pulled the pictures out of the bath and hung them to dry, he ripped open the curtain, calling Benny as he charged towards the front desk. “I’ve got a creep here in the shop harassing my employee. Can you send someone over?” Dean hung up and grabbed the guy’s shoulder. “Normally, I’d let you off with a stern warning, but I’m holding you until the cops get here. Don’t fucking mess with my friends.”

Dean wasn’t expecting the guy to fight back; he found himself staring at the ceiling in the blink of an eye. The guy bolted for the door but Charlie beat him to it, pinning him against the wall by his throat. The guy started sobbing, realizing how much of a mistake he had made. It didn’t take long for Benny to arrive. He cuffed the guy and held him against the floor with one knee.

“I’ll handle this one from here, sugar. Dean, you should take lessons from her,” Benny joked. Dean was humiliated. “I can’t hold him overnight but I can throw him in the back of my patrol car and put this on his record. You wanna file a restraining order?” Charlie and Benny settled things, and Benny asked if Dean wanted to join him for lunch.

“Yeah, sure.” Dean smiled. “Burgers alright?”

“Dean, one day you’ll go into cardiac arrest from your diet, and I ain’t bailing you out of that one.” Benny grinned, whistling as he dragged the guy out of the shop.

* * *

 

Cas showed up at Dean’s shop an hour before he closed, finding Dean sealed in the darkroom. Charlie greeted him and invited him to help her take inventory. They chatted for a while before Dean emerged.

“Hey. I can take you home now.” Dean kissed Cas hello and grabbed his jacket. “Charlie, I’ll be back, but go ahead and lock up when you leave. I’ll let myself back in.” Dean slid into his car, listening to the engine purr as he fiddled with the radio.

“Dean, can we talk?”

Dean raised an eyebrow, turning down the radio. “That sounds ominous.”

“No, it’s nothing serious. I was just thinking, would it be alright if we slept in our respective beds tonight? Not that I don’t want to have sex with you, it’s just... I really haven’t had any time alone since I met you. Gabriel and Balthazar are here as well, and I believe they want to discuss something with me. Would that be okay? Just for tonight.” Cas chewed on his lip.

“Yeah, Cas, that’s fine. I’ve got to head back to the shop after I drop you off anyways.” Dean pulled out of the parking lot, hitting traffic almost immediately. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Cas was still staring at him. Dean found Cas’ hand, intertwining their fingers and meeting his gaze. Dean would’ve kissed him if he hadn’t been driving. He turned back to stare out the windshield, watching the traffic crawl forward.

They pulled into Cas’ driveway an hour after 6, parking next to four other cars, none of which Cas recognized.

“I think Gabriel has some friends over.” Cas murmured. He licked his lips, breaking eye contact to stare at Dean’s mouth. Dean knew what this was, it was Cas’ way of initiating a kiss. It worked like a charm.

“Mmm, okay, work can wait.” Dean threaded his hands through Cas’ hair as Cas kissed lightly at his neck. “Let’s go inside.” Cas’ tongue was doing unholy things to his neck. Cas’ hands dropped to palm Dean through his jeans as he sucked another mark into Dean’s skin. “Cas, _please_ , I’m begging you,” Dean gasped.

“I don’t want to stop.” Cas was enjoying himself far too much.

“Cas, I will fucking carry you inside if that’s what it- _ahh_ \- takes. We can do this in the garage or on the fucking driveway if you want, I don’t care. Just- _mmm_ \- not in my car, _please_.” Dean whimpered as Cas unbuttoned his jeans. “Oh, _Jesus_ _Christ_ , Cas.. D-do you know how expensive these seats are?”

Cas pulled away. “I intended to contain any mess we made but if you really want to go inside, we can.” Did Cas just imply that he was about to give Dean a blowjob?

Dean couldn’t find any reason to object to that. “Don’t you dare make a mess, I _will_ make you pay for it.” Cas pulled Dean’s half-hard dick out of his jeans and hesitated, looking to Dean for instruction. “You’re okay. Just- _ahh_ \- tongue, yeah, _nnnghh_ , yeah, _that’s good_. Lips, lips, _holy fuck, mmmhh, yeah_ , keep doing that.” Dean groaned. “Ahh, teeth, teeth!” he winced. Cas slid off, wiping his mouth.

 _“_ Sorry.” He went back to teasing the tip of Dean’s dick with his tongue.

“Mmm, okay, not that I’m not enjoying this, but I need some friction. Hand or mouth, your pick.” Dean moaned as Cas wrapped his lips around the head of his dick. Cas was being extra careful not to graze Dean’s dick with his teeth, but it didn’t last long. “Watch the teeth, babe. And don’t stop doing whatever you’re doing with your tongue. Oh god, yeah, _that’s_ _good_.”

Cas was drooling, but Dean couldn’t care less. He was struggling to stay still. Every fiber in his being wanted to thrust upwards into Cas’ mouth, but he abstained. He heard footsteps and voices outside the car.

“Cas, we got company,” Dean warned. Cas pulled up, looking around. He made eye contact with Gabriel, who was laughing and pointing towards the Impala, surrounded by a group of strangers who seemed unamused and somewhat disgusted. Cas narrowed his eyes, flipping his brother off and turning back to Dean.

“I don’t know any of those people. It’s okay,” Cas dropped his head to Dean’s lap, humming as he swallowed Dean down again.

Dean arched his back and gripped the edge of the seat, a strained whine escaping his lips. He opened his eyes, glancing out the windshield and spotting Gabriel doubled over with laughter. “He’s still watching us.” Cas nodded, sucking Dean deeper. “ _Holy fucking shit, Cas. That’s good._ ” Metallica’s _Fuel_ came on the radio, and Cas turned it up.

_Give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire, ooh..._

Was he fucking synchronizing his movements to Metallica? Oh, _god_ , that was hot.

_Turn on, I see red..._

Cas’ tongue was doing unfathomably sinful things to the head of Dean’s cock.

_Adrenaline crash, crack my head, macho jugger, paint me dead..._

Dean could just barely hear the filthy, wet noises Cas’ mouth was making over the music.

_And I see red..._

Dean whimpered, bucking gently into the wet heat of Cas’ mouth.

_A hundred plus, through black and white. War horse, war head..._

Jesus, this felt so good Dean wondered if he would make it through the song.

_Fuck ‘em, man, white knuckle tight..._

That line fit too well, Dean gripping Cas’ neck tightly as he bobbed over his dick.

_Through black and white..._

There were the teeth again, a sharp flash of pain that caused Dean to flinch. Cas realized his mistake and compensated by wrapping a hand around the base of Dean’s cock. “Ohh, Cas, don’t _ever_ fucking stop that.”

_Oooh, on I burn, fuel is pumping engines, burning hot, loose, and clean..._

Dean wasn’t even trying to say anything coherent at this point, rattling off an unending chain of curses.

_On I burn, churning my direction, quench my thirst with gasoline..._

Cas cupped Dean’s balls with one hand. Dean bit his lip and threw his head back, whimpering. “Cas, _fuck_ , oh _god_ , that’s so fucking good.”

_So give me fuel, give me fire, give me that which I desire..._

Cas squeezed Dean’s dick, and Dean lost it, thrusting helplessly into Cas’ mouth as he came. Dean collapsed against the steering wheel, panting heavily. “ _Jesus Christ, Cas_ ,” he sobbed. Cas slid off, wiping his mouth and licking his lips. He tucked Dean back into his jeans and redid his belt. Dean took a deep breath and sat up, turning towards Cas. “Your turn.”

“Dean, you need to get back to work. I can... take care of myself. You can repay me later.”

“Cas, I mean it. You just gave me the greatest blowjob of my life, least I can do is return the favor.”  
“Thank you for offering, but no. We can settle things tomorrow.” Cas kissed Dean softly. It didn’t help that Dean could taste himself on Cas’ tongue.

“Cas, I feel guilty,” Dean protested.

“Don’t. Honestly, I don’t mind.” And just like that, Cas was gone. Dean sighed and put the car into reverse, heading back to work.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i keep saying theres gonna be plot but... 
> 
> no but on a more serious not there is a plot i just made the mistake of leaving gaps like this one that were way too big so im filling them with sex and romance.   
> also i ruined my favorite metallica song for myself.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I get really personal here, just a warning.

“So...” Gabriel sang as Cas shut the garage door. “Lil’ bro’s got some moves, huh?”

“I don’t want to talk about this.” Cas blushed, trying to push past Gabriel.

“No, really, you should’ve seen his face. You must have quite the tongue.” Gabriel’s breath reeked of liquor. Cas recoiled, grimacing.

“Gabriel, you’re drunk.”

“Am I?” Gabriel hiccupped, smirking.

“Is something wrong?”

“Nah, nothin’ at all,” Gabriel lied. His smile faded and he backed away. Cas frowned, giving him a questioning glance. Gabriel shook his head -- he wasn’t going to say any more. Cas dropped the topic and headed upstairs, wondering what kind of monster could scare Gabriel into such a state.

* * *

Dean stepped into his apartment at two in the morning. He was exhausted but relieved, having finally finished developing the nightmarish photos for the weird guy in the black coat. Any film he was sent to develop was bound to be a little creepy; for some reason, any photographers still using chemical techniques seemed to have a strange fascination with bizarre shit. One of his recurring customers always brought in pictures of abandoned houses; another took pictures of dolls. Dean never asked questions, partly because he needed the business and partly because he was pretty sure he didn’t want to know the answers.

Dean shed his jacket, dropped his keys on the counter, and grabbed a beer from the fridge, kicking the door shut and heading upstairs to his room. As he passed Sam’s room, he heard the usual soft groans and muffled noises; Sam and Jess were goin’ at it. He slammed his door, took a swig of beer and flopped into his computer chair, kicking off his shoes and checking his email. Garth had sent him a message.

 

Sender: Garth Fitzgerald IV

Subject: Re: Re: Possible Field Trip?

Message: I’m open Tuesday. I can meet with you at any time between 11 and 3.

 

Dean sighed, typing out a reply and shutting the tab. He was going to have to cancel lunch with Cas that day, which was disappointing but he’d find a way to make it up to him.

It occurred to Dean that he had the SD card from Cas’ camera in his pocket, so he fished it out and plugged it into the computer, uploading the pictures and grinning. Cas looked like a literal angel in many of the pictures he had taken at the airport, and the pictures he had taken while Cas was sleeping (he had gotten permission... afterwards) looked even better -- the tattoos on his back appeared to be real. Dean made a mental note to mess around with them whenever he next got a chance. Right now, though, he was wiped. He crashed on his bed, still wearing his button-up shirt and jeans.

* * *

The next few days were a blur. Garth was bringing his class in in a week, and Dean needed to organize some kind of lesson beforehand. On top of that, Thanksgiving was only a few weeks away. Sam, the idiot he was, had invited a number of close family friends to a Thanksgiving feast at their apartment. It wasn’t going to be much of a crowd, just Ellen, Jo, Benny, and maybe some of Sam’s colleagues, but it was stressing Dean out.

Dean spent his nights at Cas’ house, which meant he was getting less sleep than usual because Cas was about as horny as a fucking teenager, not that Dean was complaining. Sleep deprivation wasn’t new to Dean, but he preferred to get at least 7 hours of sleep a night because otherwise he was irritable and lost a lot of customers.

They were both exhausted by Thursday. Dean spent the day trying to do inventory but only finding himself capable of counting to 30 before becoming distracted or having his eyes glaze over. The only customer he had had to entertain was a wannabe hipster who smelled strongly of pot and wanted ‘ _the clearest camera you have_ ,’ which made about as much sense as his lensless glasses. Dean sold the kid a Nikon and watched as he stumbled out of his shop, immediately stopping to take at least ten pictures of a pigeon.

By force of habit, Dean made the mistake of driving back to his apartment after work, and Cas didn’t say anything to shake him out of his stupor. Dean got out of his car and headed up the stairs, forgetting Cas was behind him. He walked inside, set his keys on the table, and turned around, blinking when he noticed Cas standing in the middle of his living room. Dean scratched his head, wondering whether he should offer Cas a ride home or pretend like this was all intentional.

“Hey Dean- oh, hey, Cas.” Sam trotted down the stairs. “Is Cas staying for dinner?”

Cas seemed distracted. He rolled the words over his tongue. “Am I staying for dinner? Yes.” He turned to Dean. “Can I have a painkiller? I’ve got a headache.” Dean nodded and disappeared into the kitchen.

“So, Cas...” Sam had no idea how to initiate a conversation, but the silence was making him uncomfortable.

“Science fiction or fantasy?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Sam frowned. Was Cas delirious?

“Dean told me you read quite a bit.”

“Oh. Yeah, I do. I like science fiction, mainly, but I can’t pass up well written fantasy. You?”

“Science fiction. Who do you read?”

“Uh, I’m a big fan of Crichton, actually.”

“He’s exceptional at integrating horror into his novels. Personally, I like Orson Scott Card. He plays with philosophy and psychology just as much as he plays with science. Ever since I was a little kid, I’ve wanted to meet him. I think we’d get along.”

“You do know Card’s uh, a bit... closed-minded?”

“What do you mean? I know he’s Mormon.”

“He’s a bit of an opponent to the gay rights movements. That’s why I’m not much of a fan of his work anymore.”

Cas frowned. “Oh.” Dean returned with a Tylenol and a glass of water. “Does that mean I can’t read his stuff?”

“No, of course not. I just didn't... You mentioned wanting to meet him and he’s infamous for attacking queer interviewers.” Sam ducked his head, smiling nervously.

“What are we talking about?” Dean was confused and a little worried.

“Books.” Sam and Cas answered, in unison.

“Well for once, the topic of ‘books’ sounds pretty goddamn exciting. Who’s attacking queer interviewers?”

“Orson Scott Card. Science fiction writer.”

“Huh. I gotta run to the store to get shit to make dinner, Sam, don’t bore Cas to death.” Dean grabbed his keys, kissed Cas’ cheek, and left.

* * *

“Hey, come get your burgers,” Dean called. Sam and Cas descended the stairs, Cas carrying an armful of books.

“Sam said I could borrow these,” Cas explained. He set the books on the counter.

“Dean, your boyfriend hasn’t seen Star Wars,” Sam complained.

“What the fuck, Cas. We gotta fix that. Movie night on Friday.” Dean handed Cas a plate and a beer and gestured towards the table.

“Dean, Jo and Ellen are coming in on Friday. They’re staying here for the weekend.” Sam grabbed the ketchup and headed to the table. Dean followed, claiming the seat next to Cas.

“Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?”

“You haven’t been home for like, a week,” Sam said, pointedly.

“Oh, yeah...” Dean cleared his throat, pointing to Cas’ plate. “Try it, c’mon. I take pride in my burgers.”

“I’m not feeling all that well.”

“Yeah, probably because you have a headache and you haven’t eaten in seven hours. Eat a little and see what your stomach does.” Dean rubbed Cas’ back reassuringly. It took a few minutes to coax Cas into taking a bite, but the moment he did, his face lit up.

“You made this? Dean, this is delicious.”

Dean beamed.

“This is one of the only pros of living with Dean, he’s a great cook. But he only knows how to cook two things, burgers and eggs.” Sam smirked.

“You burned water, Sam, who are you to complain?” Dean shot back.

“It was the container, not the water!”

“Sam, you destroyed our microwave trying to heat up some water. Set off the fire alarm and everything.”

“It’s not like you’ve never burned anything.”

“I burn popcorn on occasion, but you fucking burned water. Of all things. _Water_.”

“The _container_ caught on fire. We’ve been over this, Dean,” Sam sighed.

“Still, you can’t complain about my cooking because you don’t cook shit,” Dean huffed, taking a bite of his burger. Cas laughed, giving Dean the elusive grin that made his heart flutter. Dean yawned, finishing his burger and downing the rest of his beer. Cas and Sam made gentle conversation as they finished their burgers. Sam left to go pick up Jess from work, leaving Dean and Cas to clean the dishes. Dean only realized his exhaustion was a problem when he tried to put his plate in the fridge instead of the sink. Cas smiled and took Dean’s plate, ignoring Dean’s protests as he loaded the dishwasher.

“Dean, you need sleep.”

“Cas, I spent three years of my life getting only four hours of sleep a night, I’m fine.”

“I’m sure you remember yourself functioning perfectly for those three years, but you just attempted to load the refridgerator with dirty dishes. And I could use some extra sleep too. I sleep a lot more than most people do, and we’ve been pushing my own limits this week.”

Dean opened his mouth to protest, but he was wiped, and the thought of crawling into bed next to Cas sounded so great Dean wanted to cry. Cas led him upstairs, and although they intended to fall asleep early, neither of them were tired enough to sleep. They took to cuddling, something Dean would never admit he enjoyed.

“So, what music do you listen to, apart from Queen and Zep?” he asked. Cas handed Dean his phone, and Dean gave him a strange look before opening the music app. He scrolled through the small amount of music on the phone, stopping when he found what was obviously a gospel album. “Whoa, whoa, Cas, are you religious?”

“I was religious. My mother was very religious. She had me enrolled in Christian schools from kindergarten. So I grew up believing in Jesus and listening to gospel music. That album was one of my mother’s favorites. I keep it on my phone for sentimental reasons. My father actually married her under the false pretense that he was Christian, and she believed it because he studied the Bible for ‘fun’ and knew the material. My mother loved me; we had a special bond that none of my siblings really understood. I didn’t want to disappoint her. I was around 17 when I...” Cas paused. “You don’t need to hear this.”

“No, Cas, I’m really curious. C’mon, we never open up to each other.”

Cas swallowed and licked his lips. He took a deep breath before continuing, “At 17, I knew my faith was weak. I had struggled with faith my whole life at that point, but because everything depended on me believing, I pushed myself hard. I prayed incessantly, I read my Bible every morning and evening, I did everything the people around me did. But I still doubted God more than I believed in him.” Cas paused, lost in his memories for a moment, before he blinked and shook his head. “I started blaming myself. I didn’t want to disappoint my mom or my friends or, most of all, God. I thought I was just selfish and stupid, and it got to me. I remember at one point I...” Cas met Dean’s gaze. He sucked in a deep breath, dropping his gaze to stare at his hands. “I... I got a knife and sat down on the bathroom floor. I don’t really know what I thought I was going to do. I just stared at the knife, thinking about how easy it would be to prove to myself that God existed. Just a quick flick of my wrist and I’d be standing at the pearly gates.” Cas let out a nervous laugh, a noise that made Dean’s stomach twist because Cas sounded hurt. He wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck and buried his nose in his hair.

It was a while before Cas spoke again. “It was stupid, me thinking that way. I almost acted on it. I just... I didn’t want to wait too long. I knew I was losing my faith very quickly and I was afraid it was my last chance. I was terrified that I wouldn’t be of strong enough faith to get into Heaven. I don’t know how long I sat there, staring at that knife. At some point, I fell asleep. My mother found me lying there and woke me up. I was sitting on the knife, so she didn’t see it, and I lied and said I wasn’t feeling good. She left to get a washcloth and I hid the knife in a drawer and that was that.”

Cas let out a shaky breath, burying his fingers in Dean’s shirt. “I never told her. I lied through my teeth until I graduated. I guess that’s what started my whole charade with drugs. It was a way to escape, to stop thinking about the past. I felt so bad about everything, and then my mother passed away and things got worse because... because I felt terrible for not telling her, and...” Cas trailed off. “I just feel so much better not having to believe any more. The question of the afterlife doesn’t even come to mind. That’s what I was so worried about, because my mother talked about Heaven as if she could almost taste it, and I knew that coming out as agnostic would crush her. It was actually easier to come out as gay than it would have been to come out as agnostic.” Cas sighed and relaxed in Dean’s arms. “So to answer your question, no, I’m not religious.”

“Cas, I’m so sorry.”

“It’s fine, Dean.”

“No it’s fucking not, and you know that.” Dean lifted Cas’ head, forcing Cas to look into his eyes. “I can’t fix the past for you but I’m allowed to feel bad, knowing that you suffered through that. Cas, just... Come here.” Dean kissed Cas, a soft, chaste kiss that spoke more clearly than any words Dean could piece together. He cared about Cas, and he wanted Cas to feel it.

The circumstances of their relationship were... unconventional, to say the least. But they made it work. Soppy, romantic moments were uncharted territory for Dean; his mouth didn’t form words nearly as well as it spoke when intertwined with Cas’. Maybe that wasn’t normal, but it was all Dean had.

Cas found his phone again and scrolled through his music, looking for a specific song.

“What’cha doin’ now?” Dean whispered, lips brushing against Cas’ jaw as he spoke.

“A song I want you to listen to.” Cas turned up the volume on his phone and set it on his stomach. Dean nuzzled up next to Cas as he started the song. He perked up when he recognized the familiar sound of electric guitars. Okay, maybe Cas did have some gospel music on his phone, but this shit wasn’t that bad. Cas’ taste in music wasn’t too terrible. Dean actually liked whatever this was.

_ [I curse to hell the magistrate who granted this unholy fate, but I know, I know I asked for this myself. I’m bound by law to hell.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aqHsHCIrCvI) _

“This is dark,” Dean murmured, breath hot against Cas’ neck. Although Cas wanted him to listen to this song, part of him wanted to roll over and straddle Dean and take him right there.

_And it’s sick, sick, sick, humans and their needs, living in a fairytale is tearing at the seems, a dank reject, a devil in a dress, exactly what you seem..._

Dean closed his eyes, trying to figure out what it was Cas saw in this song that made it worth sharing. The song was too emotional to mean nothing to Cas.

_It’s sick, sick, sick. It’s sick, sick, sick._

“Cas? Is this how you felt about religion and all that shit?” Dean asked. It made more sense than anything else at this point, especially since Cas brought it up right after he had vented to Dean.  

_You made a mess of things, my what a mess you made. I hate the way you make me feel, I hate the way you make me._

Cas paused for a moment, and then nodded. “This band was one of my crutches through high school and college. They’re so angry, and their anger manifests in great music, but this song in particular made me feel... I guess it made me feel like someone understood me.”

_But in your world it’s cold outside, so button up and open wide. I hate the way you make me feel sick, sick, sick._

Dean pressed a kiss to Cas’ neck, closing his eyes again to listen to the song.

_If memory serves me correct, I gave you all, you gave me less, and your sexcapades delivered checks, but can’t afford you self respect._

“This part really didn’t, uh...” Cas said. Dean laughed.

_And it’s sick, sick, sick, humans on their knees._

Okay, maybe the mental image of Cas on his knees wasn’t all that appropriate at the moment, but Dean couldn’t help it.

_Living in a fairytale is tearing at the seams. A dank reject, a devil in a dress, exactly what you seem._

The song was repeating itself now, and Dean couldn’t stop thinking about Cas’ mouth wrapped around his dick. He kissed softly at Cas’ neck and pretty soon Cas wasn’t thinking about the song either. The phone dropped somewhere between them. Neither of them cared about the music anymore, instead working at tearing each other’s clothes off.

At some point the song must have changed. They rolled over to the other side of the bed and suddenly a much younger male voice blared from the now-uncovered phone.

[ _And there you are, I’m a fiend, I gotta have it. I need a fix, my dangerous habit._ ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLBbhXqOdsM)

Cas pulled away, eyes wide as he scrambled to change the song. He was embarrassed.

“What, is this a boy band or something? Don’t change it, I like your music. Just get back here and kiss me, you fucking bastard.” Cas obeyed. The lyrics were cheesy but Dean didn’t mind; as long as Cas didn’t mention it to Sam, he kinda liked this song.

_You are my gateway drug, you pull me down, you mess me up._

Okay, the lyrics were really fucking cheesy, but it was a catchy song. Cas sucked a bruise into Dean’s neck and wrapped his hand around Dean’s cock, and at this point Dean wouldn’t care if it was gospel music playing. Cas was jerking him off and Dean couldn’t get enough of it.

_You are my gateway drug, you give me a taste for the harder stuff._

_ And I don’t wanna stop... _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs in this are: Sick, Sick, Sick by Bayside (my favorite band) and Gateway Drug by The Spill Canvas (my guilty pleasure, and the lead singers fucking adorable too)  
> And the religion shit that I brought up is from my own personal experience.  
> From this point forward, there is legitimate plot. A lot of shit goes down within the course of a week or so.  
> If you liked this, leave a comment or something, I'd love to get some feedback on this! Thanks!


End file.
